Urban Monkisms

UMC Studios Apparel available on Skreened.com/umcstudios

2011-04-14T00:30:00.003-04:00

UMC Studios Apparel available on Skreened.com/umcstudios

2011-04-14T00:22:00.002-04:00

UMC Studios Apparel available on Skreened.com/umcstudios

2011-04-14T00:17:00.001-04:00

UMC Studios Apparel available on Skreened.com/umcstudios

2011-04-14T00:15:00.002-04:00

UMC Studios Apparel available on Skreened.com/umcstudios

2011-04-14T00:10:00.002-04:00

UMC Studios Apparel available on Skreened.com/umcstudios

2011-04-14T00:03:00.002-04:00

New Hotness

UMC Studios Apparel available on Skreened.com/umcstudios

2011-04-13T23:53:00.003-04:00

I know you're art, but what am I - UMC Studios - Skreened T-shirts, Organic Shirts, Hoodies, Kids Tees, Baby One-Pieces and Tote Bags

2011-01-17T00:48:00.005-05:00

Today is the I righteously aim to pin-point my re directive. U think little and speak more, but what I speak of is far worse.

Barbarians at the gate claim to hold injustice by the juggler of Free-spirit.

An artist knows better and will not consort with such vagrants. It is my belief that artist are not shown true potential, but instead are lead down dead end roads that participate failure.

This is why truly innovative though proctors are lead down lie laced avenues of in success.

Pardon my broken vernacular as I type in a literal vocal sense and not in the literary. I do not expect to command agreement or criticism. I simply believe that art as well as the artist deserve to stand on their own merit and not that of the other. An artist's stands by his word and the art must stand alone.

Signing off... One typed key at-a-time... My sweTER IS ITCHY?

Reflections on yesterday

2011-01-07T01:06:00.002-05:00

People have regrets...I have memories I'd like to change.

Be careful of what one wishes.

A wish is nothing more than futuristic realities that bend around the wormhole of the imagination.

For every mistake made, think of how much lucky correctness one stumbles through oblivious.

That's all...

It's whatever and that's the way it is.

2011-01-06T23:38:00.002-05:00

Work, work, work,

blah, blah, blah,

Art

and

sleep.

art

and

sleep.

Cycles bike through my mind, but still behind.

Reruns of do-overs don't stop what's in my mind.

Time and again

things seem to never change, but never stay the same.

I'm not one to consider myself in the art world,

but,

I am in a world of art.

Mine...

And I like it.

- The Urban Monk 2011

2011... A fresh art start.

2011-01-01T10:56:00.003-05:00

This the first day of a new year. It is also the first day of the beginning. UMC Studios will be my major focus of 2011. There will be many changes to the company. Many new mediums will be explored and this will be the place to catch all the latest happenings... Here is a tour of the new face of UMC Studios.

Ink linked Dreams

2010-12-27T23:58:00.003-05:00

The crucial call of foot steps fleet over water and under bridges as my wishes click and buzz.

Stained laced lines consecutively intersect

picked and prodded skin.

An artist's arm is only as good as the hand it's attached to,

but too much of a good thing can only become greatness.

A day away from a dream seems a bit extreme as steam ships pipe.

A frozen hell lays looming over the horizon, but my sky lights only see crystal clear sunshine.

To teach a dream and live a mystery without misery

ever present failure pacing on the other side of that six foot iron gate.

Dragons call for my arm as buckeyes bloom on the backs of broken, swollen hands.

A monk's story told in urban prose versed without reason, but caught between a finger and click.

The buzzing of mechanical bees flutter with porous joy

as they drink from the dementia of triple black and relaxed nectar.

With every sting,

pinch,

and

bite

No pain.

No fight.

I always wanted to be purple when I grew up.

Who knew it was possible.

Roads aren't made to be traveled,

paths are made to be blazed.

Stars are made to shoot

and

rainbows built to fade away.

A new day

2010-12-27T01:16:00.002-05:00

Under a veil of mystery UMC Studios is undergoing major changes that not even I, The Urban Monk, could have foreseen.

January 2011 will be the beginning of the a long and righteous journey to forever win the war against art. I will be declaring an official HQ for my battle. The ground will be broken in Columbus, Ohio in a place only suitable for such a declaration of creativity.

AFTER YEARS OF SEARCHING THERE IS NO MORE PERFECT A PLACE THAN THAT OF WHICH i HAVE FOUND. iT IS SUITED TO EVERY NEED.

The Need of my art is what propels me forward. It is my only faith. My only justification, my only logic, and the only reason for my existence. It is now time to put Post Modern Barbequeism on the map....

And so it starts....

UMC Studios new headquarters under renovations...

2010-09-04T23:01:00.003-04:00

As of this last week I have made many moves towards my dreams, goals, and aspirations as an artist. I have finally found a home worthy of my ideas. Although it needs some major TLC I plan on investing at least three years into seeing where this goes. I have also began a tattoo apprenticeship which I will hope to make my career as it will fund my ambitious art projects in the future. These are big risks I am taking in uncharted personal territory as I hang it all on the line. It is either sink or swim and I prefer the later. My plan is for UMC Studios to begin to take shape as early as Spring 2011.

When aspirations turn real...

2010-07-01T20:07:00.002-04:00

I am in a bit of a dilemma. I have always set goals outlandishly high and unobtainable... Or so I thought. I do this so that I may always continue to strive for perfection and keep the hunger to create ever present. Now, what happens when unexpectedly an unrealistic goal is not only obtainable, but with a stroke of good luck is achieved. That is the predicament I find myself in. I am happy to add that I don't mind this problem and quite frankly wish it would happen more often.

I guess either I didn't realize the potential of my true self or have greatly underestimated my ability to succeed. Either way this is an awesome spot to be. It is not often that I right about the subject of luck as it is my belief that there is no such thing. Generally luck can be broken down into the idea that it is made up of a consistent drive to succeed, hard work, opportunity, and the ability to realize that opportunity and take full advantage of it. Without any one of those my idea of luck does not exist. So, I believe in essence everyone can create their own luck. This is why although I feel extremely lucky I know also that 90 percent of it is actual my doing.

It's just a thought, but from now on in I am going to set my goals even loftier and more over-the-top... Let's see what happens.

Never stop dreaming.

Through those dreams and hard work is the only way a measure of success can truly be reached.

Shock art, Not my art...

2010-06-25T02:40:00.002-04:00

A funny thing happened... Tonight I was going to watch disc 5 of A BAND OF BROTHERS, which I did. This had started out as a tribute to memorial day watching the box set, but had put off the last discs for some reason.

Today, I just finished my final draft of a screen play for one of my students in which we are going to make a film for... I decided to watch disc 5 because I wanted to see the relation to on-screen dialog and the character on screen... But, this is where it gets interesting...

The film is so engulfing that I forgot entirely why I was watching and just simply took in the story. This rarely happens for me, but tonight it did. After two episodes and the winning of the war. I turned off my TV and went to bed. As I lay there staring up at the ceiling at 2:38 in the morning I began to think about how much people take for granted. Not in a passive way, but actually thought about it.

After being reminded of the hardships that Jews went through in those concentration camps it is tough to emphasize the importance of say, "Getting a car" or A good job.

So, As I lay there I kept thinking how the art form of film making reminded me of life's fragile humanity and how that fragility can be easily broken. Through the beauty of story telling and art such an ugliness of human nature inspires beauty.

I began to think of my own art and some series that I have done that have tried to spread awareness through the shock of image. I have veered away from that for reasons other than I intended, but now I make what I consider "EYE CANDY". I have begun to re-involve concepts of what I hold as beliefs. Although, now I am beginning to see that through truth and beauty one can still show the injustices of the world while still maintaining one's own integrity. I am learning how to say what I want, about what I want. In a way that doesn't make the viewer defensive, but instead invites the viewer in for dialog.

I haven't begun to take on such bold and difficult subject matters as the atrocities of WWII, but I am starting on a smaller scale with issues that are effecting the world around me.

My narrative.

I believe as an artist it would be foolish and naive of me to waste my talent painting only pretty pictures. Why do that when I can paint the same pretty pictures, but have them mean something? It does not discredit their significants just because they are pretty. I have determined that there is enough ugliness in the world. What I am trying to do is elevate just a little bit of that ugliness to an idea of beauty by showing the world its' significants and why we should be looking deeper into such subject matters.

Many people make ugly things and some even make beautiful things ugly, but few take the ugliness of the world and pull from it elements of truth, integrity, and beauty...

Why? Because it is a difficult thing to look inside one's self and deal with subjects going on in the world that one cannot solve alone. It is an overwhelming feeling of helplessness and in that discouraging. So that is why people focus on that shiny new car, that long awaited cruise... To think of beautiful things is easy to make one motivated and hopeful, but to take the world's ugly and look at it with that same optimism and positivity is a much more difficult thing.

I guess what I am trying to say is...

That is what my job is as an artist in all works that I create and that is what my goal has always been I just did not know it.

To make the ugly beautiful.

-The Urban Monk

p.s. Now that I got that off my chest I will sleep much easier. What do you think about before you go to sleep?

Busy, busy, busy...

2010-06-22T14:10:00.003-04:00

To catch everyone up to what is current in my life... Well, another of the twenty three goals for new years has been completed. I am now officially a licensed driver. Which is remarkable considering the previous week I failed horribly. So after sixteen years of putting it off I can be done with that.

Moving on. The show that I was supposed to do "Art in the City" was cancelled do to the unpredictability of people I will remain to keep nameless for both their integrity and mine as well. On the other hand my painting The zebras ate my new right shoe did make it into the juried professional exhibition at The Ohio State Fair. I consider this a momentous victory considering I got rejected two years ago and they only select three hundred works and there were over eight hundred entered. The opening reception will be July 27. I will let you know how the awards reception goes.

I have scrapped the series called "Fred's workshop" however, it is being transformed into another series in light of the Gulf oil disaster. This new series will be called BPGA (British Petroleum Gulf Art) a little play on the whole PGA thing. The first in that series is being completed, but it will not e finished until the Gulf leak is fixed... It could be a very, very long series.

In other news, the first part of my collaborative independent art film is wrapping up this week. I will be finishing the first hard edition of the screen play. After that there will be no major changes with regards to plot, characters, or concept. Everything else will still be subject to change as we have kept a very liquid approach to this whole project. Namely, because we have no idea what we're doing, but that is the fun part. Accomplishing the impossible. That has been an underlying theme of the current endeavors I have been taking on.

I think that should catch everyone up to what I have been doing over the last couple of weeks. I will try to check in more often, but projects are far out weighing blog-o-sphere time and quite honestly I would prefer it that way.

-The Urban Monk over and out...

Despite Obstacles

2010-05-28T00:45:00.003-04:00

If there is one thing I have learned it is to appreciate Murphy's Law, but seriously... It sounds like me and this Murphy fellow have plenty in common. I don't know where I am exactly going with this. Let's just say, I stopped making plans a long time ago. I have determined that my path has been predetermined. I just happen to be the unlucky soul that has no idea what that line is that I travel. I am sure most feel the same way. I try to control circumstances that occur, but often times that makes the whole ordeal much more difficult to tolerate. My life is kind of like watching a high school fight. The tricky part is to know when to break it up so it doesn't go over the deep end, but there is always that other side that wants to see how far it will spiral. Then again, sometimes there is a whole bunch of commotion, but nothing really happens... Right now is not one of those times. Somebody needs to seriously intervene and show me the path or else I am about a split second from running away and joining the circus.

Despite my current list of obscenely long list of obstacles I have dusted of a formidable plan to get things back on track. One, I am getting my license in the next week or so... Hell or high water. Two, I have found a warehouse suitable of being able to create the lofty ambitions of my fantasy art world (now I just need a source of reliable income to procure it). Three, get a job as a house painter so as that I may get my warehouse.

Once I achieve all of these things the universes will be in alignment once again and I may go back to taking on projects that far exceed my ability... Thank you very much... Over and out.

Mmmm, my not so productive weeks...

2010-05-13T20:28:00.002-04:00

Well, I haven't been sticking to my productivity plan once again. I keep straying off into the unproductive realm of video game playing. It is difficult to stay focused as I cannot keep a steady schedule of exercise. I have all, but given up on being physically fit. This is the longest duration I have gone without being physically active. It has been months since I have worked. I feel weak and unmotivated, but I neither have the room or proper diet to exercise... Hell, I don't even have suitable drinking water in my current place of habitat.

It's crazy that in the 21st century in the United States there would be a home that does not have water fit to drink. This is the least of my dilemmas, but that's for another day in another blog that isn't related to art... Anyway, back to productivity... It has been slow as I have fallen slack to my Mandarin lessons and creative writings.

Though, in the grand scheme of things I have been working. I am about to wrap up completion on my latest painting The Gospel according to Roy G. Biv. It is framed, the resin is setting, and all that is left is for me to acquire some of the MAGIC ink that I will use to create the eyeball. Then that piece will be complete and all is done for the show. For once I will be ahead of schedule. Tomorrow I head to Indianapolis to pick up two pieces and drop off another.

So I guess in hind sight I have been productive, but it could always be better. I have to be careful of the ever to bordering of burnout. As long as I keep a steady pace I will be alright. I have been putting in an average of I say 8-10 hours which isn't bad, but it could be better. I actually took time to shave today. A rarity for one who has no sink or mirror... Don't ask.

I will begin to document my workshop series tomorrow... I warn you though, from ugliness and darkness only true beauty can arise...

Workshop art...

2010-05-13T20:22:00.002-04:00

Every couple of years I clean out whatever random work space I happen to call my studio and use my scraps to create little art treasures. For some reason people seem to love these little art treasures more than my regular work. Sooooo, to test a theory I have I am going to create these piece's called "The Fred's workshop series"and put them on Etsy.com to see the type of response they warrant. I have no idea how many pieces I will create, but my guess is it will be until I run out of scraps. This should get interesting as material dictates style. I am hoping to pull out about twenty pieces. If it is a success then I will create more. Only time will tell. I think the first pieces will be ready by monday...

Let the magic begin...

The Gospel according to Roy G. Biv...

2010-05-11T21:25:00.003-04:00

Well, the painting is coming together nicely, except for the fact that I don't really like all that much. Every artist say that sort of thing, but as of these last couple of years I haven't. In general I have liked the work I have put out and it has for the most part looked as good or better than what I imagined. I guess at some point I am bound to have a disappointment.

With that being said... There is still time to pull this piece up to par. I haven't applied the MAGIC yet... I am hoping it will pull this piece together, but I think that it is asking alot.

I guess I am hoping the beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I am hoping Roy has one beautiful eye. That and my custom frame might just be this paintings saving grace. Oh, and the fact that it changes color...

The Monk of Columbus

2010-05-06T00:02:00.004-04:00

Well, it looks like after two years of shows in Columbus I finally am entering the art scene. Only time will tell if this is to be a lucrative love affair of success and ambition, or ... Well, I won't even think of other options.

Two weeks from now I will debut my new Post Modern Barbequeism Pieces. When that day arrives expect to receive an ear full of the low down. We'll see if this town of my birth is ready for what they don't know is coming for them. Me and twenty other artist... This should be interesting.

Paint with Urgency

2010-05-03T22:22:00.003-04:00

As I listened to classical music and worked on my latest painting I determined why my work has such movement and bold use of color. I now think it is my new motto... This motto you ask? Well, I will tell you. It is a bit aggressive, but then again so is my new view of my work.

Paint with a sense of urgency. Paint each stroke with intensity and purpose as if the gods were to strike both hands limp at any moment. Examine your work as though tomorrow you would be stricken blind. And last, be generous with color as if the world were swallowed by blackness and void of any color..

This is much cleaner than my original version that kept like a mantra in my head as I peacefully painted to Bach and Beethoven. My original thought went more along the lines of this.

Paint with Urgency, as if the gods were to stricken one hand-less and rip both eyes from the socket. Allow color to not only breathe, but sing from the canvas through the darkness of the world and echo through the blackness, illuminating the path. of worldly beauty and nature's true essence.

Hate it when a name don't stick...

2010-04-28T23:44:00.004-04:00

Well, I thought I had decided on my current painting's name, but it had other opinions. I wanted thought it should be called The gospel according to Wilbur. However, WILBUR thought other wise. I am now changing it's name to The Gospel according to Roy G. Biv. A little less witty, but it is out of my hands. Kind of in a tricky spot with it. Roy's being a bit of a stubborn fool. Some paintings just float right into the way they are supposed to be. Then there are the ones like Roy that fight the process kicking and screaming. I don't like painting the forced way. Too much room for mistake. When a painting flows there are never mistakes. I have been lucky enough to have been on a streak. This is the first stubborn painting I have had in years. There are only two reasons for this. Either I was not pushing my skills hard enough OR... I was not pushing myself hard enough.

I think this painting is just a touch beyond my skill level which will make it all the more satisfying when I pull it off. Nothing better than doing something that you think is impossible. It does wonders for the self esteem. Now that I think about it, I have been accomplishing plenty of impossible goals lately. Failure is inevitable with the multitude of impossible tasks I have been taking on. Though Roy ain't going to be one of them... You hear that Roy... Tomorrow it's on.

Too much...

2010-04-28T01:19:00.002-04:00

That's it, that's all.

Too many things and too little time.

Hurry this

and

Hurry that.

Check the time

and

rotate back,

but already behind.

Creatively master minding success...

2010-04-26T22:35:00.003-04:00

There are many ways to succeed, but only one way to fail.

Urban Monkism Quarterly is progressing quite nicely. I think it shall meet it's completion deadline of late may, but the only question is... Will anybody care? Actually, that doesn't matter. It never has. It never will. It matters to me and that is all that matters.

My new painting is coming along swimmingly as well. Along with the many other various projects I have going on right now. The magazine will cost $10.00 I think. That seems a fair price. I aim to complete 2-3 pages a day in order to reach my goal of 75 by the end of may. So for these next couple of days I can kind of ease into it and then head full steam ahead next week...

So many plans, so little of me to go around. I need assistants, but all they would do is get in the way.

Announcing Urban Monkism Quarterly...

2010-04-25T23:27:00.003-04:00

Yep, that's right. Heard it hear first... That is, if anybody is paying attention. In my effort to document my entire life as an artist I am developing something I have been putting off for a long time.

Coming this summer I am going to put out the first quarterly catalog, issue, publication, or whatever anyone wants to call it. It is going to be properly named " The Prototype". This first issue is going to be rough around the edges. Real rough, but as I figure out exactly where I am going with this each issue will improve upon the last.

Basically, it is a catalog of everything Urban Monk. My books, my thoughts, my poetry, my art, and completely my opinions on everything with a Post Modern Barbecue twist. It will strictly deal with all things creative. There will be absolutely no ads except for products produced by me.

Eventually, I hope to feature artists' work that I like and know. Also, maybe interviews and who knows what else. This is kind of a working idea, but I will put the first one out there in late may.

I don't know why I am doing this. It isn't like anybody is listening out there, but for some reason I feel that all of this work that I am producing is for a reason. I feel as though everything I do should be documented. There is something within my art and ideas that lay an important concept or fundamental essence. I am not sure what or why it is. I just know that there is something profound resting beneath the surface and I am slowly starting to scratch away the dirt like an archeologist uncovering ancient ruins.

The more I try and dissect what it is that drives my art, the better and more profound my art becomes. By seeing how elements and techniques can inter relate with other subjects that appear at first glance to have no correlation is really quite amazing. Who'd of thought that listening to physicist and molecular biologist give speeches would influence the way I think about the application of color and texture or that listening to a woman's view on the Theory of Darwin's Evolution would cause me to think about the evolution of my own art and perhaps it is not the way it is because of the way I thought it was.

These quarterly catalogs might just become my little pet project. I have no idea where they are headed, but then again I have no idea where I am headed. All I know is that I follow the flow of my creative energy. And right now my creative energy is telling me that I need to write this quarterly amongst other things.

The muse has spoken and I have listened...

Fresh Start

2010-04-23T11:14:00.002-04:00

A Native American Samurai's morning.

Wells of freshness spray through rusty sprinklers.

A new beginning, but aren't they all.

The familiar recognition of consciousness

starts nagging again.

Like the rice harvesters of Vietnam

So does my day too start already behind.

The same things I did yesterday

need done today.

The meditations of a brush

sooth my anxious soul.

I plead with my mind like Vegas pleads with me.

What happens here, stays here.

Though that is never the case.

Another beginning.

Another day further behind.

Back to the present and focus on the now...

2010-04-23T01:22:00.003-04:00

Well, I have been slacking in my priorities set forth on January first. I have produced another book although it wasn't on the list. Everything else I have been slacking off on.

So, with that being said. I am going to get back on track with poem of the day starting now...

And I will call it, "Stressed"

Slumped backs and slouched cadavers.

My lady of luck is slack.

I think thoughts of forgotten goals and worn torn souls.

A Poe frame of mind, but too dreary for me.

Give me a rainy day to make me shine like an unexpected package.

Please no more dreams of bullet riddled bodies

ravaged by lost packs of dogs.

Tormented teeth grind through tormented eyes.

Surviving is the easy part.

It's getting back to sleep that keeps me awake at night.

Overwhelming & Under Developed...

2010-04-23T01:19:00.001-04:00

What best describes my plan towards life.

Pre-sleep art thoughts...

2010-04-19T01:03:00.003-04:00

An artist must turn corners blind and take on challenges of the impossible. If an artist does not do such things then I consider them not to be an artist. Simple as that. There are hobbyist and excellent craftsmen, but artist I think not. I know very few artist in the fields of the fine arts, but I seem to know far more artist in other careers that do not consider themselves artists.

My journey is an interesting one. I do not know where my creative endeavors will take me or whether I will be successful or not. Some say it is all how one measures success. I have spoke upon my ideals of success many times so I will not go into that right now because quite frankly I am tired of blabbering about it.

I am more concerned about whether I should worry that my path of artistic evolution is so liquid that it seems to take on whatever vessel happens to be within reach of me... If I am near a workshop I begin to produce furniture... If my only access is a computer I will write. If it is paints, then I will paint. Some would call it being resourceful. I think of it as creature of habitat. This is why I am so hell bent on having a warehouse. I am interested to see the proportions to which my ideas will fill. Sure, I have a few ideas of large scale work, but I know it is only the beginning. I know that I cannot even begin to imagine the extremes to which my work will grow with unlimited size restraints.

This is something that has always restricted my concepts as an artist and I think now is the time to explore this new avenue of artistic growth. My ideas are becoming stifled because of the constraints of my environment. With greater space, comes more impactful work.

As an artist it is my duty to supply my creative mind with potential scenarios that are conducive to the production of original techniques. I know that by supplying certain elements in juxtaposed situations that I will bring about new ways of thinking. There by creating completely original ideas that I never planned on.

A shock to the system is what I am all about. To plan for the unexpected is what I do best... Actually, to provoke the unexpected is what I do best. Improvising techniques until they become craft is my second nature. That is my true art technique. Through the improvisational techniques of ordinary and extraordinary materials I develop new tools for my style... The style of Post Modern Barbequeism.

Creating work that has never been done before or even thought about is the goal with my art, but not just to create something new for the sake of creating something new... Art for art's sake...

I have never been down with that idea. The new work MUST conceptually hold some weight for its' use. There MUST be a significance for its' being. There are even reasons for accidents in my opinion. There are no accidents only unprovoked outcomes of random awesomeness.

Something I thought about while taking a dog on a poop walk...

2010-04-19T00:58:00.003-04:00

An artist must first learn the elegance of line in order to master the technique of drawing, only to realize that true art holds no line at all.

Philosophy is out the window...

2010-04-18T00:50:00.002-04:00

Deep thoughts are not best before sleepless days.

Bad movies are not to be wasted while productive dreams dance through finger tips.

Find time in another day to waste today's minutes while work should be done.

Already thoughts of lazy minutes lost on a clock that has not yet begun to be struck.

Everyday falling further behind with taunts of others egging on the mischief of fiddling appendages.

The beginnings of lost trains of consciousness slip through the clinched teeth of determination.

Maybe that's the sound that wakes my dreamless sleep with twists and turns of breathless sweat.

At some point in sometime, something will give way to the expression that correctly suit my creative thoughts.

Until that moment every one that precedes that moment I await.

Until that moment there is no clarity, but the clear fog of indecisive decisions that linger on dangerous ravines and on cliffs that sweet little lemmings edge ever closer to.

On that edge my ambition stands statuesque tilting towards greatness, but reluctant to pursue that one giant leap that is as much faith as it is righteous ego.

So I stand... Struck still with the sight of success bubbling my fears and honesty...

What is an artist to do once one realizes that there is a path to the road of acknowledgement, recognition, and success... All they have to do is what is naturally they have been doing.

This is the time when some fold and go home. Quit and face a life of regret... Or, others seize the moment, double down, throw caution to the wind, and create their own destiny.

These are the thoughts of an artist before bedtime...

Back on track for a bigger badder me....

2010-04-17T00:25:00.002-04:00

Well, my first attempt at a table is coming along quite swimmingly and I must say all-in-all art in general has been kind to me this week. Opportunities are knocking. Long awaited ideas are again presenting themselves in the light of achieving possible accomplishment. Another book is on the rise of being a reality.

I would be lying if I said I weren't excited about the moves that I am making right now in the directions of art, but honestly, it feels kind of weird. I am never excited about art. At least not as much as I am now-a-days. Ever since a couple of weeks ago I decided to not hold my ambition back it seems as though things have been falling into place. Nothing significant. I just notice this new energy within myself. A renewed enthusiasm that was lost for many years.

I have always been enthusiastic about my art for the most part... Let me rephrase that... I have always been passionate when it came to my art whether it be negative or positive.

I feel something different about this new found energy. I am finding the will to push through new directions and towards ever increasing ambitious projects with complete recklessness. Ever since pushing to write that novel whether it be good or bad a new beginning has started where anything is possible. I think that Picasso's Marauders was my Everest.

I am now free from the shackles of self doubt at least when it comes to my creative exploits. My ability to multi-task creative projects is nearing an all time high, possibly even shattering previous personal bests.

In these last two weeks I have been cutting, sanding, burnishing zebra wood, solving the problems of constructing a wooden "U" that is 40 inches tall, carving a 18 inch table top, using drill presses, tablesaws, band saws, rasps, spray paint, wood glue, photoshop, and designing an alphabet book of all my work on the computer. This onslaught of creative energy is coming from places I have no idea along with co-writing a screen play.

These are all means to an end, but that end is what I am not sure of. All I know is that I am in desperate need of a warehouse to complete the upcoming projects that I have on my list that will be truly amazing. This top secret installation project I will only refer to as "The God Project". It is the only idea that I have never been able to visually imagine. Though earlier this week I stumbled upon a manufacturer that can supply the material I need to build this sculpture. After searching for ten years off and on I thought I'd give it another try two days ago and... BINGO! I found exactly what I was looking for. So now it is only a matter of time, money, and space before I can build it. That is fine with me because that now means it will be built. The only question is when... Not if.

My goal as an artist...

2010-04-12T22:55:00.002-04:00

Today I realized as I am built a table, sand exotic wood from Africa for a painting, and carved my wooden table top that it is time to suck it up and do what I was meant to do....

That is to start blowing away the competition. As an artist it is my mission to set the bar unreasonably high for other artists. I want to come out of left field with ideas, materials, and techniques that they have never thought about. I want to destroy any and all competition.

Many say art is not a competitive contest and to those my only answer is, "good luck with that." because there are going to be artist out there like me who's sole mission is to be better than everyone else. Art is subjective, but quality and uniqueness is still quality and uniqueness. I am no longer going to bother myself with looking for shows. From now on my focus is creating. That is what I do best and that is what I am going to strive towards with never ending pursuit.

My work is growing in leaps and bounds, but it has not begun to start. I am going large... I am going real larger. Both in the physical, concrete realm, and the conceptual one as well. I am going to revisit some old ideas that have been sitting on the back burner for years. This collection of work that I will start undertaking is going to require a warehouse... So, with that being said, by late September UMC Studios will be relocating to a warehouse somewhere in the greater Central Ohio area. Mark my words... That's a promise.

I cannot go into detail as to what my works are going to be, but I will say this, "Nobody is ready." I have been waiting a long time and have quit thinking of alot of ideas I thought were out of my ability with space restraints. So, I am going to get the space and start back up with the art I want to do. Not worrying about where I will display it. I will just start building. All work will stay in the warehouse unless somebody shows interest. This means I will not have to worry or stress about making room. I will just build...

Build,

and build

and build some more...

Basically, UMC Studios is going off the grid for awhile because this work is going to have to be debuted at the same time. I might release some teasers like at the May 6th show in Columbus T.B.A.

This new work is going to be unlike any I have shown in the last decade. If people witnessed some of my earlier works back at 321 then you will know where I am headed. This new work is going to be ambitious beyond any scope that I have tried before. It has been a long time in the coming and I think I am finally ready to take it on.

I swore to myself a long, long time ago that I would never let any of my good art ideas go to waste even if they were experimental and unthought out at the time. I have had years to let concepts digest in my cerebellum and cerebral cortex.

I think, therefore I can.

I feel kind of bad for artist out there that don't know what's about to hit them. They really don't know. Oblivious. It is not my job to push them that should lay on their own creative shoulders. Artist need to step up their game and are going to be scurrying like roaches when the lights come on when they see my new stuff.

I am not tooting my horn or being over zealous. I have been to New York. I have been to Chicago. I have been to San Francisco. I have been to Austin. I have been to Savannah and you know what? I am unimpressed.

Yes, there is some good stuff out there, but great? Nope.... Overrated? Yes! Have I seen anything recently in the field of art that has completely blown me away... Besides Dutch artist Theo Jansen I have not been too impressed. Even he though was not an artist originally but a physicist who became a painter then sculptor.

I think artist have gotten lazy, unoriginal, and a feeling of complacency has crept over the minds of the creative. If it takes me to give the system a jolt and resuscitate art then that's just what I will do, but it will take me some time. Not much time, just a year or so. Even if artist emulate, copy, steal, borrow, or are inspired by my style, oh well. That is kind of the point I am going after.

I am tired of the same ol', same ol'. Artist need to start taking bolder chances. Putting their egos on the line and getting close to that edge of failure/success. I prefer to fail miserably then have mediocre success. At least if I fail outright then there is no question as to what needs to be done differently. EVERYTHING. Plus, with great failure comes even greater success. It is these ideas that propel the truly genius ahead in the world and that is what I want.

Goals are for people that have this idealized few of the world and a step-by-step mentality. I have a MANtality and I am on a mission.

A mission of art...

Brain freeze, frozen, going going, and gone...

2010-04-11T23:45:00.004-04:00

Brain freeze,

frozen with anticipation

as I wait.

Hesitating situations

lick palpable palettes

of granulating verbal laxatives.

Living for genuine moments of silence

and

expressed measures of peace.

Still I wait.

No clarity.

No peace.

Nothing.

The chaos of a mind stuck in the gridlocks of thought. Poetic prose intertwined with literary outburst of unorganized thought structure delineate the mind state of this confused artist. Run-ons bleed dry the ancestors of a bloody imagination. The civil war of unrests rages in between waking dreams of new ideas. These concepts were not taught, but learned and burned into my retina from sights hidden to the naked eye. Knowing not how I write or why I, only that I must. Art, be it the same culprit that induces me into a secure state in which I let go of the material and bring in the unthought, prolific mind fat that I swore to never intellectualize.

This is why my head hurts... There is no form or consistency except for that it has no form or consistency makes it all completely consistent unto itself. Such weird thoughts mean I am trying to figure out too much... Maybe I'll stick with poetry... It flows much better through my steady streams and rivers of consciousness.

Shutting abstract doors

and

opening concrete locks.

On a silent sun

expires the tension between strokes of sandpaper to zebra wood.

Spring is new

fresh

and my step had become rusty.

Where there is form.

There is none.

Broken jigsaw thoughts parade in a Pow-Wow of tribal anarchy. I am learning everything again from subjects I never knew I could learn. Smarter than I was told to be and more humble in the face of those less than intelligent, but it keeps slipping out. This nagging intellectual. "Why? I ask" Never any answers, only more questions.

Subjects beyond my realm of understanding are the tasks I constantly investigate. What man seeks questions knowing the answers he will never comprehend. Delusions of genius, but then again maybe not. IQ is an abstract philosophy built on the concepts of others to gauge one's intelligence in accordance with their own standards.

Measuring intelligence is a measurement of soul. There is no true tool that can account for all dimensions of one's thought. Every muscle gets stronger with exercise. The brain is a muscle. Free thought is it's exercise.

Simply thinking is not enough. Challenging thought is true exercise. To seek answers which one cannot understand is to strength the brain. Thought. Ideas. Creativity. The ability to solve problems that plague the mind of the creative. These exercises are essential to an artist of any sort... Why?

In essence an artist job is to create a problem which has no finite solution. There is no absolute. There is no end all, be all. Though through this self created problem an artist must then ask themselves what the correct answer is to solve this problem in accordance with their own specific individual set of learned skills.

Before answering a problem one must first have a question to answer. In order to create a solution to the problem. This is why a painter can often times be stumped by the "WHITE" of canvas or a writer by the blankness of a page. Most would say that these situations occur out of fear and lack of thought. I believe it to be the exact opposite. I believe during these situations one has complete and utter clarity. A profound sense of depth at a deeper understanding than even they them self cannot comprehend on a conscious level.

The artist or writer is actually realizing at that exact moment is that there are infinite possibilities. An entire universe lay on the tip of their brush, or the stroke of their finger tips. At that particular moment the creative realizes their God-like power in a world in which they can create and will reflect their inner most thoughts and emotions whether they want it to or not. The creative cannot hide this. They cannot under a falsity, say, create something that is not them. The mere act of creating is a part of their being. If they create dishonesty of their craft, it only reinforces the inner dishonesty that lay in their soul. Although truth no matter it good or bad is at the soul of all works. There are no lies in the arts.

The arts can be misinterpreted, misleading, unbelievable, fictional, but they can never be wrong. That is the power of art. In all it's righteousness and downfalls art is ALWAYS honest. The question is can people see what honesty and truths about humanity that particular piece of art is speaking about?

This is the question that artist need to answer. This is why some artist cannot move passed that blank page or white canvas.

I have never had a problem with a white canvas or blank page. It is not because I am the most creative person in the world, nor a genius. The reason is very simple...

I have never asked "The Question".

I only give infinite answers of ambiguity.

-Marcus R. Thomas

(just trying to figure out art... That's all)

Another book... Why not?

2010-04-09T22:49:00.003-04:00

Okay, so I'm still thinking about creativity honestly. I have been watching a great deal of lectures on the web from very smart people on subjects ranging from everything to disputes in Darwin's theory of evolution to a mathematician's examination of organically grown fractal society structures based in Africa.

My mind has become a sponge and I realize I may be smarter than I think I am. I was never any good at academically learning, but I am beginning to realize that maybe I just never truly felt the credentials of my teacher's were note worthy enough to teach me anything. When people have an unending passion for their area of expertise and apply that passion to a creative solution or pose an interesting question... No matter what subject or how off center it is from art I feel myself propelled toward listening further. Plus, not only do I want to know more, but I want to figure out a way to incorporate this new found knowledge into my art.

The sad, but true thing I am beginning to realize is that I do not know too many bright people in my life.

Yes, I know smart people and intellectual people, and people so full of themselves that I don't know how they get their shirts over their over inflated egos, but I have rarely met a person so intellectually intriguing that they inspire new ideas and applications in the way I use and view my art.

I am guessing this could be considered the same for many out there. I just never realized that there were so many other people out there in the world that could be filled with such passion and creativity that were not in the arts.

Smart people do not interest me. Or even people that know THEY have a high I.Q. I don't know mine, but it is safe to say that I am not the smartest person in the world, but I can definitely say with all confidence nor am I the stupidest.

I have never been able to find myself in a circle of extremely bright people and innovators in their respective fields. I think this would open up ground breaking thoughts to hear their perspectives on anything so as by osmosis I it may become my art. I am after all an absorber. Art is my medium.

Back to the subject at hand, a new book. I am thinking of writing an art book. Not of pictures, but of philosophy, analysis, and my thoughts on the subject. I have been having ideas boiling about all types of things bubbling in my head all generally orbiting the world of art. Not to be mistaken with "THE ART WORLD".

I have read a few books on art, but I have noticed there haven't been many books as of recent written by artist explaining their ideas on art. Artist will give interviews or try and explain their style. I believe this to be a lazy and an egomaniacal way of going about things.

Sure, I want to explain Post Modern Barbequeism, but that is only one short chapter in my life as an artist. To me, it is not the most significant part. At least not yet ( but you never know). There are aspects of art that I want to write about and examine. One biggie is creativity...

Creativity: I want to explore where it comes from. How to create it. How to apply it. Why people avoid it.

This book will be solely based off of my own brain. My own ideas. I want something that I can stand by without question and let it be my convictions on art, no matter how controversial. There is plenty I do not agree with in Art and I want to write an art book that goes beyond the realm of art to the idea of the general creative. Something that would push the bounds of individual expressionism no matter what field.

Right now, this idea is sitting in my head like a big bowl of gumbo with all the fix'ins just floatin' around. I don't know what I want to say, but I know it's something... Got to go watch a movie... Pick this up tomorrow... MAybe.

Creativity...

2010-04-04T03:12:00.003-04:00

I like the word. Although it's meaning raises intriguing questions. I wonder now more than ever where I get mine from, but not really. I have always been lucky enough to just have it. Natural, an ability that is as common to me as breathing. I have never had to question it, I can always depend on it, and I have never been in fear of it.

I have always embraced my creativity and if anything... I always ask for more, push harder. I want to know just how far my ideas can go. How far they will go. Sometimes due to limitations I must reign in my ideas, but this is a practice I always reluctantly fight. At most, when near sleep. To wonder about all things seems natural. Although I have come to learn that this mostly is true only in children. Where might I have learned this? Well, from children.

With maturity and age comes understood wisdom, but at what cost? The cost of ideas? The cost of creativity? I have seen it happen to friends. I have seen it happen to strangers, but I have never seen it happen to children.

Just because something is fact does not me it is true. The truth may not always be fact. The truly creative people I have come to admire I do not admire for their wisdom, intellectualness, or skill of craft. What I truly admire about these people is there inventiveness at solving problems. Their abilities to ask questions that many have answered before with fact, but they are quick to not only un-assume these understood facts. Instead, raising a new solution through unorthodox trials to an already proven method. People like this amaze me.

This applies directly to me as an artist, or rather art in general. I do not simply want to be a good artist, or a great artist, or even the best artist. What I want is for ART to be pushed forward.

Now, it may not me that presses it toward some all empowering place, but as long as I keep the creative inertia of Art going that is what I want. I believe it has been stagnant for sometime and it is taking everything I got to get it going.

I am not saying I am God of art, or that it is only on my shoulders, but if all artist took a confrontational stance toward art we as artist could get this thing going somewhere. I don't know where it needs to go, but I sure as hell know I cannot move it all by myself. Although I am trying.

In my search to push my creative energy I am now attacking from all angles through battle fronts of literature, visual, philosophical, and the intellectual. I want to know what are my boundaries. At some point there has to be something that cannot emote an idea from me. The harder I try to push myself. The further away I seem from my true limits. Thus, raising my ideals that I have yet to even hold a match to my true potential.

Problems: I don't know where I need to go, how I am going to get there, and what to do when I reach there. Besides these questions many more confront me, but that is for another time.

The only true battle my creativity has is with sleep... And that is only because I do not dream.

Nothing major, nothing deep...

2010-04-02T01:34:00.002-04:00

In a life filled with stress, worry, and eagerness today just wasn't one of those days. A lazy day of accomplishment where everything just seemed to fit into place. Every once in awhile a person is bound to have a day such as this. Apparently for me it is on "The Day of the Fool."

I don't mind. Finished my play which I think is better than I expected. Three acts. Quality material. I think I reached the demographic audience it has been requested for. I am beginning to think there isn't anything I can't do. Within reason, of course. Something amazing has happened to my mind where in that I can achieve astonishing amounts of creativity almost without effort. During my research today for my play I happened upon an intriguing fact. Pluto happens to break into Neptune's orbit once every 248 years. Nothing significant right. Well, it just so happened to do this ten days after I was born on January 23rd, 1979. What are the chances that I would be drawn to a subject matter of a planet, but now only a distant dwarf planet. One in which I make it become a supernova out of spite. Maybe on some scale of the universe there is something that relates me to Pluto. Who knows? Not I... Just something to think about. I guess more for me than you though.

Where do these idea come from...

2010-04-01T00:13:00.002-04:00

Recently my words of the written have been flinging off my fingertips with relative easy. Free verse cursed with a theme that I have no control over. My writing appear as if written by someone else of a much brighter intellect. The wisdom of the words brings brightened ideas even to me as I reread what I have written. Or, apparently someone else has written. Poetic essays pick apart my thoughts and dissect them into digestable ideas that I can manipulate into constructive theories that enable me to better navigate through the perfect storm of life. My brain vein pulsates out one after another, word after word. I just sit, watch, read, and with a slight revise enjoy the parade of prose. Thoughts stop for others, but not me. It would be a relief if they did and I can't imagine they will. I give in to the creative only because there is no alternative. Others will argue differently, but they are wrong. Obviously people with few ideas and fewer validated opinions that I won't waste my time on highlighting. Not to say that I am any sort of intellectual. Although, the more I write, the more repugnant the pretentious I smell. My own writings at times are over my own head. I try to understand what I write, but it would be arrogant and pig headed of me to say that I understand everything that I have written. I prefer simple talk, with complex people. A way where I can listen and learn without the pitfalls of my own stupidity to get in the way.

Inner Discovery....

2010-04-01T00:02:00.002-04:00

I have found the true meaning of my art. Or rather the art. To erase the personal and find what justifies the afore mentioned. It took a little digging and honesty, but I found it. This makes no sense, I know and I wish I could explain it to you (the reader), but I cannot. This discovery was for myself to learn. I recommend every artist do this search, but only when in the correct frame of brain. To reduce the ego and ask truly honest questions as to why one creates. The world is full of contrasting ideas and opposing values. An artist must be honest with what one is in search of. Once discovering that, erase it. That is only the surface. To truly find the aspirations and inspirations of what one considers the muse behind art. It is usually far deeper than that. Some, if not most, do not want to dig so deep as to discover the meanings of why they do what they do. I like the ugliness behind beauty. The raw behind the polished. The dirt swept under the rug. This is where the essence of an object really is. Eye candy is alright, but truth is enlightenment. Not in the religious sense, just in the human sense.

Early Worms...

2010-03-31T08:53:00.002-04:00

Quick, attack while the day is young and the people are unaware of the true potential of one's talent, drive, and ambition. This is my goal. I am slowly learning that by mid day people become bitter and aware on any attempt to enlighten their lives and refuse this pleasure at all turns.

My Brain vs. The Brain

2010-03-31T00:47:00.002-04:00

I find it ironic right now that I am battling the thoughts in my head as to what I should be doing now. I constantly am thinking of one thing while I know I should be focusing on another. I have decided right now, right this very second that I am no longer going to worry about why I am not doing something else and am doing something completely different. As long as I am being productive one way or another it is all beneficial. Just in different departments. Sometimes it's good to just turn off the control switch and let the brain go on cruise control (creatively speaking)

The ironic part is I am having this conflict with my inner brain , all the while I am trying to finish a play that is having a dilemma because the disembodied omniscient brain doesn't believe in Pluto as a planet.

A brain that doesn't believe in Pluto as a planet is no brain of mine. That being said, it is a fictional brain. I have been trying to stay focused on the ideas of success that I had created as my new year's resolution, but as I am quickly finding out my own brain has other plans. I cannot work fast enough, write fast enough, paint fast enough, sleep fast enough, wake fast enough. Everything seems to be slowing down except for time which constantly seems the fastest of all.

No time for Chinese or exercise. These are my thoughts as soon as I wake. As I work on one thing a million ideas flow into another thing. One thing after another thing makes things begin to get confusing. No time for perfect words to describe perfect actions. Just type, fast. Words hurl out of my finger tips clicking and clacking off the keyboards' keys.

Ridiculous rhythm keeps my tempo'd flow at a frantic rate. No time for spell check get back to that later. An art meeting tomorrow that will unfold any which way, but the way I expect it. The only consistent set is that the inconsistency of reason and non logic walk hand and hand as anything but superb normalcy awakens.

I apologize for the free verse words of nothing, but my mind is onto something that my brain can't distinguish.

A perfect storm riddled with creativity. In order to write a monologue so illogical as a disenfranchised Pluto personified by shame, jealousy, anger, and a need to belong. Soon a thrust of pride rattles it's essence and brings about the quasar of a super nova exploding into red hot plasma streaks of an inferno. With such confidants it can only become the solar sun and nothing more. This is its' true identity. Its' original sin. The birth of a solar system with all others in its' own orbit. From matter comes anti-matter. Complex concepts consume intellectual Q & A's, but between those highly charged electrons and protons bounce a nuclei within that only expands... Brain hurts... Must stop... Tomorrow I will write the third act... Tomorrow I will write Pluto in all its' insecurities and greatness. Tomorrow will be another day of new ideas and unmet goals, but it's okay. Even Pluto has bad days...

To be, or not to be....

2010-03-27T23:55:00.003-04:00

My question is this... Is it the idea of an artist that is of value or their product? Is concept or material most important? Is the search for beauty and the definition of ugliness why I continue to create eye candy? I do not know. All I do know is that I am searching for something profound through my art, but I cannot annunciate what rests on the tip of my brush, pen, or mind. Whatever it is I search for through my art lay just below the surface and just above true enlightenment. This is a tricky time as it seems everything I explore seems to develop without effort or work. The creativity that I have comes with ridiculous ease.

So I continue to push onward in search of something I find truly impossible to achieve. Once I find this goal in my art I will know that I have truly found why I have chosen art as my calling. Whether it be through the written word, image, or the abstract. I will find the right question so that I may pursue the purest answer.

In my writing over the last month or so I have stayed on the lighter side of things. It is now time to dive back into the questions of art and why I am an artist. After all that is the true search I am after. The productivity will follow, but I must concern myself with the real questions and not just the the superficial ones that drive the rat race.

URBAN MONK vs. ART

DING!

Round 1...

I will fix my routine....

2010-03-25T02:46:00.002-04:00

After a distracting trip to Savannah, Georgia I am back. I will fix my routine. I will correct my sleep schedule, and most important of all... I will step back up my production level. I have deterred in my path to success only to stray back. Every once in awhile every body loses their. The key is to when this happens before it becomes a pattern of habit. Once the edge is over the fall comes next. I have fallen, only to pick myself back up again. Sleep deprived and hot now is a time when I must write.

Whether this is clear or not, is not what matters. What matters as any writer will tell you is to write.... And so, I write. I write this blog, that blog, this comment, that comment, here a few pages of a play, and there a few pages of a play. And like a crack in a pipe the words of water begin to poor through the facets of my fingertips.

By Friday I will have written my first draft of my first play. Not bad for three days worth of writing and 2 months worth of researching. Something new to cross of my new list of writing goals. I have determined it is not that writing is difficult. That is the rather easy part. It is the rewriting, revision, and editing that I simply don't have the patience for.

I don't know what it is, but there is something intrinsic about the click , clacking of keys off the finger tips that begin to build a pulsating pattern of beats and rhythms. And with that my song is over. The dance of word with sentence fails to deliver an encore. So with that I call tonight a good night and early morning.

P.S. My writings will be changing soon... Something weighs on my subconscious and I will write through it if I have to.

Aaarrrghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-08T02:00:00.002-05:00

Frustrations drops like a ton of bricks upon my head. Ideas I can't articulate. Concepts I can't execute. Goals I can't reach. Not because of drive, ambition, or effort. One or two simple reasons neither the connections, nor the right support. The plans sit in my head gathering dust and displeasure. At times it can be overwhelming because I know what needs to be done and it is almost within my reach except for minor details. One patron, one donor, one believer in my ability to succeed and this artist, that is I, would take off to the stars. Soar incredibly high with works that would transform both viewer and community. It is sooooo frustrating. I have never felt so much passion and eagerness for something so uncontrollably unobtainable. Much like my bold and innovative ideas, my art sits in storage, alone and in the dark. Times like these I remember why I quit art every now and again. It is so tough to keep a dream alive that gets kicked, shoved, and dismissed as non relevant. In no other profession that one invests so much time, money, and talent are people quick to disregard it as a non career. Something that one chooses to do because it makes one happy. This is one of the few professions that chooses the person, not the other way around. Others rarely understand THAT ( jealousy, I guess). It cannot be quit. There are no other options. It is either succeed, or... Well, succeed. There is no alternative. There is not a switch that can be flicked off. There is no way to not think of art... Trust me, I have tried. Tried to drown the ideas out every known way and they only come back with a vengeance. Bigger, bolder, better, and more beautiful than the last. Some say it is a gift to have such talent, but the curse lay at the truth of it. A gift that doesn't give back, but only takes is but no gift at all. The constant torment an artist must deal with is at times fun, but always tiring. The mind never stops. The ideas never slow. The passion never sways. It is unrelenting and always looming even when dormant. At any moment, any time, any where inspiration can strike and consume all that is artist. a creative sickness that has only one cure, to create. To release the ideas that stay in the cortex of the creative mind of the abstract and make a reality. No sleep, eat when must, and only clear thoughts are during the act of art. The only true time I never think about art is when I am creating it... How ironic is that? Art is everywhere and the ideas just keep on coming. Done, done, and done...

I'm going to bed! Good night! ARRRggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!

The zebras ate my new right shoe... DONE!

2010-03-06T10:55:00.002-05:00

Yes, it is true... After 10 days, my new piece is done. Thrusting me back into the world of art and all its' comings. Hope it goes better than the last 25 years... Out of retirement after only 3 months, but that is longer than I have ever oone before in my life without doing art.

Diabetes of the mind

2010-03-04T10:02:00.002-05:00

Psychosomatic

With attractive disasters,

Dyer consequences,

And unforeseen dilemmas.

Theories of onset genetics.

Slushie lifestyles.

Drug addicted

Diagnosis definite

And

Finite.

The youth.

The elderly.

Men.

Women.

Race,

But

Predisposed urban and suburban.

White, Black, and Latino.

Poor, rich, and middle-class

Solutions...

Art the insulin.

Culture,

creativity,

and free thinking

The Cure.

Ninety-nine percent success,

Lost causes

And

stubborn primates.

Creatures of habit.

Walking eye sores of a reverse Darwin.

Just call them Dwayne for short.

(Excerpt from 3rd Shift Epiphanies: Chronicles of a gas attendant.)

- Today's Daily Poetry Selection.

The zebras ate my new right shoe...

2010-03-04T09:46:00.003-05:00

Well, it's been almost two weeks and the most beautiful painting I have does is almost finished and ready to go to Indianapolis. I think it is time for me to admit what I am best at and go with it. Eye candy. I did it in high school. I was the best at it. Not much for making a statement, unless one considers, "Hey! Look at how awesome I am at color! A statement, but it sells." So I guess maybe I will give it a try.

I don't think they're ready for this. It'll be a slaughter of the competition. I am honestly one of the hands down, best at this when it comes to make art that simply wows and when I think about it, maybe that is exactly what the world needs right now. Enough people are saying how bad everything is. And look at this, or fix that, or social injustice this. Nobody is saying simply look at how beautiful the world still is. IT is not destroyed the beauty has just been pushed to the side to make room for every one's personal greed, egos, and fanatical worship of all things tragic. Within nature there is still a majesty. An orchestra of colors, harmony, and music. Van Goghe saw it before he went crazy, or maybe it drove him to craziness. Matisse saw it... So did Monet, Seurat, Kandinsky, Okeefe, Stella. Maybe not so much Warhol, Duschampe, and Picasso, but still there is an understanding of beauty and natural rhythm that resides in their work whether they admit it or not. So, with that, my new phase as artist salutes them. Post Modern Barbequeism gives homage to that, that is "EYE CANDY".

Back on schedule

2010-03-01T10:20:00.004-05:00

This morning I am finally getting back on routine after a month or so of erratic discipline. My 12-16 hours of productivity must continue if I am to be as successful as I need to be. Many things are in the works and more and more just keep piling themselves upon my back in exponential amounts. I can't complain though, the harder the job, the more I feel up to the task. Many of the things I need to do have risen that are not on my ultimate list for 2010, but no matter I will still gets to accomplishing them. So without further ado... Let's start first with my poem of the day from my book 3rd Shift Epiphanies: Chronicles of a gas attendant.

After the month long blizzard this year it is appropriate for this month...

First Snow

Snow, sleet, and dreams of a slow night.

Glows of white

Pass and flicker,

The buzz of the sweet gas lot.

Winds blow frigid cold.

Fast and gnarly.

My thoughts the same.

Playwright, poet, and painter.

I just don't know.

On this,

The first snow.

Autumn is upon us. A president of new discretion awaits.

There looms an eagerness

in the eagle's nest.

Are the eggs of ideals fertile?

Or,

Are we in the state of Denmark...

Somethings are effortless for some, while impossible for others...

2010-02-28T22:11:00.003-05:00

An example of this comes to mind as I finally motivate to achieve the same goal as many 16 year olds. That of a driver's license. Only difference... I really don't care to learn, oh, and I am also 31.

However, I have decided to embark on this perilous journey not for my own satisfaction, but to stop the nagging and disbelief of society that I could survive and exist without such a bare necessity. I have. And I wish I could continue to do so.

My plan was to just wait until I could afford to pay a chauffeur and buy an old cool car and be driven around. Unlike many, a car does not define me, nor will it ever... Unless I get a fire truck. That would be sweet...

Onto another subject, while that mission is proving to be difficult during the storm of the century, another mission I can do in my sleep practically. I decided to start painting again as it has been 3 months (which has been the longest I have ever not done art since I was 5. What has come out in approximately little short of a week is nothing less than amazing. Nobody will probably buy it, but it is still one of the greatest paintings I have seen around, and I ain't begun to finish it yet.

Inspired by my Uncle's suggestion to create a partner for my original painting My Left Shoe. I finally agreed. And I am glad that I did. What is being created is quickly becoming one of my personal favorites. I might be on the edge of a new style in my work. It is a combination of all that I like in painters. Each layer is done in a style I truly admire and in the end a whole new style is created. Post Modern Barbequeism.

Food for thought

2010-02-24T00:45:00.002-05:00

Snickers bar targets.

Popcorn parades,

Hotdog bombs,

And Post Pardon

Cheeto,

Frito,

Lay's.

Beef-Jerked

Turkey,

And

Peanut gallery serenades.

Sweet molasses,

Politically motivated,

And just as slow.

incoherent debates,

Between

Coke,

Pepsi.

All the same beast,

But

Two different faces.

Bottled water

And

Flavored oxygen. Savor the taste.

Scams of the damned.

Hungry and wired

with preprocessed,

pasteurized,

naturally,

unleaded,

for his or her pleasure,

zero grams,

trans fat free,

and filtered.

It's your choice...

And,

I choose...

No choice at all.

Give me the blueberry bagel.

At least,

I see

its' hollow from here.

(Excerpt from 3rd Shift Epiphanies: Chronicles of a gas attendant.)

-Today's Daily Poem

Channel Duh?!

2010-02-22T11:28:00.003-05:00

I find my comfort zone

quite uncomfortable.

And

This box

that everyone keeps thinking outside of...

Just curious,

inside what's so bad?

There's nothing more sobering

to the mind of mine.

Buzz words.

The backlash of false enthusiasm.

Reality.

Now a television concept.

Diabetes of the mind

causing blindness of ideas.

Lack of creativity,

fake idolizations.

A Babylonianistic outcome inevitable.

Warhol's fifteen minutes of fame

Are spin-off's of a falsified famousness.

Nobodies who think they're somebodies

And

Somebodies as dishwashers,

Waiters and janitor,

Clerks and cooks.

Why?

Because

Suzy Q

And Bobby John

Want to be famous,

And find love on television.

Entitled to pride,

But

Not a sense of self,

a job.

(Excerpt from 3rd Shift Epiphanies: Chronicles of a gas attendant.)

- Today's Daily Poetry

Classifieds: WANTED "NEW BRAIN"

2010-02-19T11:21:00.003-05:00

Pimp y mind.

w/ Digital High Definition Thought.

So I can TiVo my memories

And

Fast forward my nightmares.

Blue tooth my brain

w/ a hundred gigs of RAM.

In case it crashes.

A lifetime warranty

And

Free upgrades.

Hassle-Free checking for my mind.

Instant withdrawals

w/ no delays.

Hidden fees.

Limitless deposits.

And

An easy access thought process.

Thoughts per gallon must be good.

30 thought highway mileage a must!

w/ decent stop

and

traffic...

A family reunion of sorts

2010-02-18T22:17:00.003-05:00

Sleep.

The cousin of Death.

I guess...

Naps are nieces,

And Insomnia...

Must be,

the red-headed

step child

nobody liked

called Life.

Grandmother Dreams

With her soft spoken words,

And

giggling plate full of cookies,

Grandfather Time

keeps watch of us all.

Those nephews of nightmare

stay up all night,

even past last call.

While the drunken uncle,

My mind,

Makes no Sense

all.

Smoke Break

2010-02-18T03:33:00.003-05:00

Smoke breaks.

Jokes take

too much time.

Life's a comedian

with a rarity for the median.

Swerve left.

Interrupted through process.

Pardon my French.

Thirst quenching sleep.

An aphrodesiac

to cardiac arrest.

One has the right

to remain silenced by death.

So why not live life loud?

Asking this,

is it too much?

All do in fair time.

Nickel and dimed for

chump change.

The chimp am I.

Darwin am I not.

Question or statement.

Who knows right now?

How much can one man say?

2010-02-16T10:21:00.001-05:00

I never understood

those without ideas.

How can one

"NOT"

Think?

An idea to me

is a breath

of fresh air.

Without either,

suffocation occurs.

The brain needs both.

To adequately survive.

Oxygen

and

Ideas.

Corner the market.

Ideas for sale.

By the book.

By the ton.

By the kilogram.

By the boat load.

One for ten.

Two for fifteen.

Three for twenty.

Good one's.

Bad one's.

Old one's.

New one's.

What'cha want?

I got it all!

I just got another idea.

I'll sell you your idea.

Confused?

Exactly.

Think outside the box.

Around the box.

Under,

Over,

Even as the box.

Metaphorically,

Let's make the box a sphere.

No more corners to cut.

Just circular thinking.

Around and around we go.

Where we stop,

No one knows.

No idea.

Except me,

Because I got them for sale.

One for ten.

Two for fifteen.

Three for twenty.

Buy the bucket full.

Mop up the competition.

Too many ideas.

Not enough time.

Clone those ideas

Into other people's minds.

No need for greed.

One time trial.

First one's on me.

Strike you a bargain

And

Let's make a deal.

Free thinking spirits

are one in a few,

far and between.

An artist and playwright,

Poet and monk.

Too many hats

And

Not enough heads.

Could wear one,

But

Where's the fun in that?

Sculptor.

Painter.

Publisher.

Sure, why not?

I'll make books of ideas

for people to read.

Put them for sale.

For all to see.

It means nothing to me.

I'll just have more,

Before I sleep.

And after I wake.

A disease I deal with.

I live everyday.

Afflicting my actions,

And even my day.

Others live disease free.

Pity on them.

My curse is a blessing.

It's the life for me.

(Excerpt from 3rd Shift Epiphanies: Chronicles of a gas attendant.)

-Today's Daily Poetry

Caffeinated Nightmares

2010-02-15T10:33:00.002-05:00

Sugar fiend dreams,

Crystallized bloodstreams,

Metaphysic districts of perpendicular thought.

Stop thinking such thoughts

And

Worry about your 401(k)

I chose an abstract frame of mind

To wrap around paintings of the future.

Others use robo-routines.

Bird people

Chirp down coffee.

On daily commutes.

All day, all night.

No more play.

Work, work, work.

My way around it?

I found it.

Deep in a 3rd shift epiphany.

No material needs.

A view of different ways to succeed.

Consume to consume is what ruins most.

Excess is the beast of greed.

Taking everything for self.

Plus, more than you need.

Wearing gloves of self sufficiency,

I am efficiently careful not to exceed my means.

By any means necessary,

But

Not necessarily all the time.

Travels are in need.

Even for the most discipline of minds.

My treats just happen to coincide

With what I truly need.

Books.

Shoes.

Art supplies.

I consider my true luxuries.

(excerpt from 3rd shift Epiphanies: Chronicles of a gas attendant.)

-Today's daily poem

The Commute

2010-02-14T12:27:00.002-05:00

Whistle while I work.

Think while I drink.

A brisk walk

Thru midnight lights.

Parking lot farmlands.

Fields of concrete

And

Shopping carts.

This my daily walk.

Night silence.

Peace of mind.

My thoughts

My music.

I walk.

A new night.

A new idea.

(excerpt from 3rd Shift Epiphanies: Chronicles of a gas attendant)

-Todays' daily poem

To start a movement or not to start a movement that is the question...

2010-02-14T01:45:00.002-05:00

So, I have been thinking alot while I take down wall paper. I am wondering if this world needs a new art movement. Not that I alone could do it, but I was thinking everyone is so caught up in their own individualism that no one wants to be part of a larger whole... Especially in the Fine Arts. Everyone has to be so damn unique.

Well, it got me to thinking, I don't much care for any artists that are alive with exception of those I know and I just happen to know a ton of artist. We all work in different media and styles, but our work carries a common thread. A personality. Maybe it's the influence of Savannah on us, or maybe it's something else. All I know is that I wouldn't mind getting everybody successful if for no other reason than to try and combat the idiotic, uncreative Pop culture that is ruining America's coolness at an alarming rate.

In general, people just aren't that original, funny, or cool anymore. Well, except for the people I know and I am not saying that in a condescending view, or maybe I am. I don't give a damn. Somebody has to say it. The reason these people are so damn cool. THESE ARTIST rather isn't because they try to be or try not to be. They are simply strong, confident personality that are unapologetic in their bold approach to life and that is what America is lacking. They are trend setters. Creatives that don't gether their styles from MTV or other mass produced consumption. Ideas are formed through their art and carried out through their being. Thus, making them awesome and this is what needs to be captured and exposed to the world. Cool people, making cool art, for no other reason than that's what they are best at. And maybe along the way people will buy their work as well they should making me happy, them happy, and the buyer happy.

A perfect circle of happiness.

So in summing up... I think it is time for me to create an underground magazine exposing the new movement that has been growing and nobody is aware of it, but every one knows it's there...

That is all.

Thought you'd like to know what I think about while peeling wall paper from a bathroom wall.

Nickel & Dimed

2010-02-14T01:33:00.002-05:00

Even Earth has

Autumn,

Much like my college years

Ended as aburptly as it began.

A decade.

Really?

Seemed more like a day.

A new one begins.

On the other side of the glass.

Looking out.

I'm used to looking in.

Sucked it up,

Spit it out,

And shook it off.

The

That's what defines me.

I had my wonder years.

My Golden Age.

And somehow I'm still left wandering.

So now is my age of enlightenment.

These frigid winter winds rattle my cage.

Creative animals stir,

Restless,

Pacing,

It's time...

A penny for my thoughts?

Hope,

You got the keys to Fort Knox.

(excerpt from 3rd Shift Epiphanies: Chronicles of a gas attendant.)

Today's Daily Poem

An Old Soul

2010-02-12T13:22:00.003-05:00

Forgotten thoughts I can't remember.

Remembering things I haven't done.

Wanting what I already own.

A broken body

Rich with soul.

Invested in myself,

What I love my only luxury.

A deluxe lifestyle,

Skin and bones,

Worn and torn,

Past my prime.

A youthful state-of-mind,

With a cynical,

cyanide suicide

Of the mind.

Down through the spine.

Tingling pins

And

Giggling needles.

The brain swallows itself.

With so much time on the shelf.

Relaxed, taxed, and no kick back.

The future ahead.

The past behind.

The present?

A gift.

Just depends on youth.

(excerpt from 3rd Shift Epiphanies: Chronicles of a gas attendant)

-Today's daily poem

3rd Shift Epiphanies

2010-02-11T11:22:00.002-05:00

Through my looking glass

Reflections of my self.

An alter ego,

Or lack there of.

My id.

My ego.

My self.

Or is it not my self,

But someone else?

Me, in a different light?

Harsher.

Reality.

With age comes wisdom,

Cynicism,

Sarcasm,

And winds of change.

Like aged wine,

Yet not refined,

Just more distinctively potent.

A flavor to Savior.

Rinse.Spit.

And let the ambiance linger.

Summer blows by

As winter begins.

Transitions are for losers.

New Daily Poetry

2010-02-11T11:17:00.003-05:00

Recently I have been slacking off on my commitment to writing everyday. So, in order to make sure I update this blog every day I will be posting excerpts from my poetry collection 3rd Shift Epiphanies: Chronicles of a gas attendant. If one should happen to like these poems it is available in it's entirety in the book store section of this blog. The first poem is aptly titled 3rd Shift Epiphanies.

Terms of success, a recluse in the making...

2010-02-10T21:41:00.003-05:00

Among other priorities in life I have been trying to come to grips with what I deem "success". Family and friends would and probably will continue to argue that I am a successful artist. They say this whenever I say that I have been an utter failure. They always argue that it depends on how a measure success.

To this I say, "If I can't afford the life necessities, and a few creature comforts along with shelter, food, and clothing along with supplies to keep on creating... Well, than I am a failure and thus, unsuccessful."

Although recently I have been pondering the idea of success in general. I have been thinking that maybe I am just not meant for success, or, rather maybe I should just throw the idea of success to the wind like I did with caution so many years ago. It is a difficult notion to erase the idea of success. How else does one measure one's own life, but through achievements and failures. Whether it be personal, professional, or in the abstract. One way or another the measure of success equates the entirety of our lives.

People want better cars, nicer homes, a closer family, healthier lives, promotions, a more fulfilled everything. All of this is the measure of success. One cannot wander aimlessly through life without seeking success of any kind. For the few that lead this lifestyle are the homeless, hopeless, and insane.

I think my goal is to no longer worry about when or how my success as an artist will be measured. I no longer care. That pretentiousness and ego driven side of me has been systematically erased and humbled. Success in art... Don't really care. I honestly, a Big Bacon Classic from Wendy's with a Biggie Coca Cola sounds more fulfilling.

My thinking is that maybe to be a great artist one must longer be concerned with being great. My old frame of mind would have been to be the best one has to put on an air of being the best. Now, I no longer care. Anybody can talk and impress. I will just produce work that I am confident in and hang it on a wall. I will not concern myself with the emptied hollow pretentiousness of finding "Galleries" or "Where's my market" I will make my art the way I want to. The way I think it should be done and if it fits into someone's event and they want it so be it, but until that moment (if it ever comes) I will make art only for myself, or of lucky patrons that have found out about me.

I guess what I am saying is that I am withdrawing from the HUSTLE of the art world which I used to find so intriguing. Now it bores me and I would much rather be left to my own devices in seclusion away from the rest of the known world, in my little neck of the woods creating possibly the most ground breaking, contemporary art that no one may ever see... That sounds just fine to me.

I'll make my pictures, do my sculptures, write my poetry, produce plays, create screen plays, and hide away in the world that is my own. Being a man of absurd rationale and logic, me thinks this to be the most rational conclusion to an irrational path.

That of an artist.

No rest for the weary...

2010-02-05T03:26:00.003-05:00

I was watching a comedian tonight on TV and I have always felt some strange similarity between artist and comedians. I don't know what it is, but for some reason I have always thought that there is a fine line between that of comic and that of artist. Maybe it's just me or my style of art. I am not sure. I have always been able to empathize with comics, not because of the obvious reasons. Such as that they make people laugh. It goes deeper. Something about the frame of mind of a comedian and an artist are very similar. It is a belief system that goes against the grain.

We both have a commodity that is rare and elusive, yet holds no life or death value of survival, but just the same, without either life and death mean nothing. Without art or laughter the world would be a very dull and monotonous place. Devoid of all that is unique in Human. Both forms are misunderstood, stereotyped, and under appreciated. Both when done skillfully appear to take no skill at all. A simple unrehearsed talent that just happens to those of us lucky enough to discover it. When in actuality, both take a tremendous amount of drive, focus, practice, and a certain personality that engulfs one's self with an undeniable insight into the human psyche.

I think that is what it is. Then again it could just be a stubborn rebelliousness refusing to give in to the pencil pushing conformists that occupy most society. I am lucky enough to consider myself an artist and I am glad I am and I think in proportion there are enough of us out there.A creative seems to consume more space than the typical person, not of material matter, but rather of conceptual abstract matter. The being itself seems to weigh more heavily than that of the typical, surface dweller...

Just a bit to think about, nothing more...

Truly gifted artists, or comedians come around once in a lifetime because of their personalized view and gift combined. There are never duplicates. Never another...There will never be another Pryor, Farley, Belushi, Kenniston, Picasso, Rembrandt, Michelangelo, Warhol, Stella, Dali, and the list goes on and on and on. Their style, their technique, their life, all shaped into their expression... Their interpretation of life, not art is what they gave us, and we were lucky enough to be shown. Basically, I guess I am saying thanks to all those that came before me to inspire me to aspire to be greater than I know I am capable of being. That is where the true fun of this adventure lies. Not in the knowing, but the unknown paths. Success or failure? It is the experience of seeking both that will always lead to success. Failure can only be achieved by not achieving anything. A failure is something I will never be and I can say that with all honesty.

Just Thinking...

2010-02-04T00:48:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I wonder if opening one's mind to all and any possibility is something everyone does.

That isn't as eloquent as a statement as I wish it were, but then again I do not know really what I am trying to say.

I have just been thinking about the diagram of story. It's essence. What truly lies underneath the surface. And, Yes, I have finished reading Story by Robert McKee. I recommend the book not just to the film aficionado, but to the artist as well. Along with anybody else interested in the dynamic of the human spirit. I believe the book strikes upon so many levels of depth and insight that it has not only helped me to see into script writing, but to also analyze my, art, and the world in which I hope to inspire with my art. Or, perhaps enlighten.

Not to get too philosophical, but it is just that I see things in a clear light... Well, not so much clearer, but I have a better vocabulary and clarity for being able to describe the dynamics to which I wish to show.

As an artist this after all, is what I am trying to strive for. The art of story. Whether it be through concept, abstract or concrete, my goal is still the same. As artist I have never really thought of myself as story teller, but in actuality that is what all artist are.

I have never been merely a painter, or illustrator, or sculptor, or any of the type of categorizing. I have always vehemently denied such labels, but that of artist.

I have had a friend tell me that I am one of the last few artist remaining in the world... In a way I can see where he might say such things although this was years ago.

I understand him not out of a vanity, pretentiousness, or a ego maniacal self. I can see this idea that he sees in me because of my creative scope. I do not label myself a painter or one of the greats... I am simply a person in perfection of my craft... And my craft is that of artist.

If that means my muse takes me to literature than who am I to contest that I am not a writer? If I am pushed to become a playwright, or poet... Than who am I to deny the creative message that must be portrayed through such techniques. My goal is to push Art to the edge, not the idea of art.... Not what is or isn't art, but simply to push Art. An artist that writes is different than a writer that writes. An artist that is willing to illustrate and write children's books within the same breathe as creating a sculpture of infinite abstraction and high concept and to the depth of both crafts.

To be an artist is to act without thinking and step into the creative world of the indefinite only to find failure and success teetering within the swoop of one swift long and beautiful stroke of the brush or choice of the word.

A color...

A sentence...

Both can have a profound effect on the world and those that inhabit it around us. Sometimes I just think that in the grand scheme of things people tend to lose fact of the true sight of one's time here. It is not the collection of materials possessed, but rather the impact one has on the world around us.

Then there are those truly sublime individuals that follow paths of non effect to any one. A world without a world. Brought into the world and fade out just as easily. Not a morbid thought, but an honest reality. Those who simply walk a narrow road of self comfort. In those individuals I see discipline and fear.

That is not my road. I am one that must infect the world with beauty, ideas, words, images, thought, concept, and anything else I can do to shake things up.

This is a world that truly does need artist, at a time right now... More than ever....

And that is why I am an artist and will always be nothing more...

Another 2010 Goal bites the dust...

2010-01-31T19:54:00.003-05:00

In your face Unproductive self... Even on a day of rest I pumped out my poetry book to the masses. It isn't available for mass distribution yet, but it will be. Right now it is only available via my website www.umcstudios.com under the section called poetry on the opening page.

Even God took the seventh day off, but there is no rest for the artist. Until I can afford the luxury of being lazy I have no choice, but to produce, produce, produce, produce. This freight train of creativity ain't slowing down until somebody listens up and grabs what I'm throwing at them and makes me slow down.

I will invade as many avenues of creativity as possible. For being the end of my first month in this new experiment of unrelenting productivity I must say it is really going to start getting interesting. My next major objective is to get this screen play revised for the ka-gillionth time.

It's title is no longer Pack Rats... (title pending) I must first read this 400 page book about the essence of story. Then I will strike might and hard with the red pen. I have a feeling the movie laying under the surface of this script is far better than I had originally planned. As I absorb this book by means of Osmosis I will indefinitely arise like the phoenix from the ashes of suckiness to the heights of awesomeness. or at least I hope...

Sorry about that, I have been editing my poetry book these last couple of days.

All work, no play... When does it end...

2010-01-31T13:25:00.002-05:00

Everyday is beginning to be the same, wake up, start writing, check email, wander around for something to drink, debate about a shower (eventually I give in), back to writing, reading about writing, more writing, revise writing, check email, and hope something different gets thrown into the routine. With the exceptions of briefly interrupted sessions of video games this is my day and it is about twelve hours long.

Produce, production, stress, more production, work, work, work, is all that is happening, but without pay. Only the hope of pay, not even the promise of it. Why I pick such non lucrative ventures is beyond me. I think I love the struggle, or rather am obsessed with it.

After putting art on hold indefinitely I think that the only thing as frustrating and as hard to be successful at could have been writing. Maybe next I will decide to be a stand-up comedian since I am so awful at career choices. It is almost like I am trying to pick the hardest route on the most difficult path.

I would not call my journey the road less traveled, but maybe the road no one should travel. It seems to be chalk full of detours, dead ends, and one way-wrong way alley ways.

Pit stops over. Time for me to get back on the road... I've got places to be... I think.

My new Bible...

2010-01-30T21:54:00.003-05:00

Well, I picked up The Book, Story by Robert McKee, after class today and oh, it's soooo on. This book will not leave my side until I have read it through and through. It is only 400 something pages so it shouldn't be too bad. Some light reading you know.

I don't think I have ever been so psyched to read anything ever... I take that back, Outliers by Maxwell Gladwell was my other most insanely wanted book. Once I got my hands on that bad boy I read it in like a day... Two actually.

I am truly interested in the craft of writing. I have realized this sparked interest in writing is because of the unknown. Not to say that I mastered art, but as my craft, there were no new surprises. I was pushing myself as far as could be pushed... And no one was pushing back.

This writing thing, because of my ignorance is a whole new world. I need to seek advice. I have to listen to others. I am not breaking uncharted waters. I have again renewed a sense of creative struggle. I cannot so easily bring what is in my mind, to reality. I haven't figured out my proper channels of creative focus and expression... I am learning all over again, but I will be great. I am determined. I can learn this. It will take more concentration than I have ever had to use towards any of my creative endeavors, but my reward could be far greater.

I Do not have high hopes or lofty dreams, but what I do have is a strong imagination and good sense of expression. I have the life experiences and interesting characters. Now I just need to correctly channel all of this into proper concepts of success.

I do not aim to be monetarily successful. Let me clarify. What I aim to achieve is becoming fluent in another craft and turn out emotional responsive work. Namely, work that makes a person laugh. Lines that people want to recite. Stories that people want to reminisce over. Characters that people want to be for Halloween, or wish they had as friends. To bring fantasy to reality. That is what I want to achieve as a writer. I do not want to be the best writer, but I do want to know the craft and be able to wield a pen with a somewhat skillful hand like the stroke of a brush. Maybe not with the same intricacy, but I want to be damn good.

That is what I want to do with writing.

Whoo, that was a mouthful...

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest.

Done.

Vampires EVERYWHERE!

2010-01-30T03:07:00.002-05:00

Where I live is like no other. I swear it is a retirement home for the criminally insane. As I finished my previous article I went to the bathroom, but unknowingly another person was using the bathroom whom will remain anonymous. Meanwhile another is in the living room watching Bigfoot programs on maximum volume. I ask if anyone ever goes to sleep in this God forsaken place... The answer erupted a hail storm of who's and what's. Utter confusion and delusional rants to which I ignored as I drank the last of the good water,,, Don't ever drink the bad... You may ask how one can tell. All you got to do is smell it. But the good water actually comes in water jugs although it is not fresh, bought, or new, unless one considers someone elses tap water new. Here in nowhere's-ville where the retired vampires dwell we only use well water. From what well... Well, that's a story for another day. Maybe I'll tell you the one about the Pog (half man, half dog) or the one about the man faced goat in Africa that the villagers burned...

My time here is short so I say farewell. may your nights fill with sleep and your eyes not feel the gnarled winds of winter as mine do. Through the walls and across the floor which mice scamper, but not anymore. I think the cold killed them.

May my heater heat the room and not lay fire to my sheets as I see the sparks serenade me to sleep. This is my lullaby each and every night.

Falling behind...

2010-01-30T02:25:00.002-05:00

I am beginning to realize how difficult this writing on a daily basis is. Mostly for the point that I have no new news. With the exception that my new and improved poetry book will be done hopefully tomorrow. Just waiting for it to upload to the publishing house.

Oh, and my literary agent discussed what my next move is for my screen play... Basically, all my writing projects are in the revision stage. It would be nice if I could just vanish off the face of the Earth for like 3 months and just have Pandora Radio station, Powerade, and enough food to keep me alive, but nothing really that tasteful. Then I could get all this writing stuff done. I really, really, really need to revise Picasso's Marauders. Especially since it is kind of in distribution through Barnes & Noble now. Yeah, really should have thought that one out.

But first, I really got to get this awesome book reference called Story by Robert McKee. It is considered the Bible of screen play writing and play writes. (or at least that's what the critique company suggested). It seems to be an industry standard. Read a couple reviews on it... Okay, read alot of reviews on it. I figure if I am going to take this thing seriously, might as well go the whole nine.

If you want to be considered a professional, one has to take into account what professionals suggest. I have tons to learn in this craft. It should keep me busy enough to not even think about painting for awhile.

I guess I will have to suppress all my other literary ideas for now and work on polishing the pieces I do have. I hate editing. I wish I had money to just send all this stuff out to an editor. I guess it is something I'll have to get used to. Even spending ten hours a day being productive is not enough time.

I have had to put my newest work on hold while revise my current work. I need an entire studio of workers designated to implementing my ideas.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, just frustrated...

I'm cool now.

Got to go to bed.

Teaching the kids tomorrow,

tomorrow,

it's only a day,

away...

Actually, it's today.

Good night.

The Verdict is in...

2010-01-28T08:14:00.003-05:00

I got my professional critique of my screen play back and there were alot of things to think about. I pretty much didn't push hard enough. All in all they said it to be a so-so piece.

-They said the plot was weak. (particularly the second act)

-The central theme wasn't strong enough and although there was conflict it didn't start early enough for the characters to develop.

-The title although catchy didn't tell anything of the story and needs to be changed.

-Too much slang for one of the characters.

-The homosexual character is too offensive and needs to be changed.

-The secondary characters are to broad and flat.

-The log line is good, but needs pushed, and the synopsis is good, but needs shortened.

-Dialogue needs shortened. More character interaction.

Now with all that being said, there were some outstanding points to remember. This is the most professional, unbiased opinion I have had of any creative endeavor I have ever had. For this being my first screen play I consider it to be a good starting off point. Everything they said was 100% right on the money. I am going to take every ounce of criticism and apply it to my script. I want this to be a polished work worthy of earning power.

They did love my characters, so my character development is pretty good, though there is always room for improvement. They like my strong visual sense of writing. Everything that is problematic I think I can fix. This project isn't quite out of the realm of possible completion. I am confident that I can succeed.

I will put all other projects on hold until this screen play is complete.

Adventurer's Depression... AND A WRITING EPIPHANY!

2010-01-26T23:48:00.003-05:00

I don't know how to say this, or what it is. I have entered a creative drought again. I dislike them very much, but this one is different then the normal ones. They very rarely strike me, but when they strike they hit hard. I made the mistake of reading my recent novel on the plane ride home. I would just pick spots and casually read it... BIG MISTAKE.

I have decided that it is utter crap. GARBAGE. A disgusting use of words that doesn't qualify as a novel. It has discouraged me with writing my current novel. I know it is better, but I dislike not being good at something creative since I consider that my best skill. I know I need practice and it takes years and blah, blah, blah. It is just what I read in that novel is obscenely sucky.

I don't even want to write this, but I promised myself to stick it out. I think Picasso's Marauders (the horrid novel) will not be making it through any more revision. I think I am going to rewrite it as a screen play which is what I intended it to be anyway. I am much more confident in my skills as a screen play writer.

I will not take the book off of Amazon as I want to see how sucky my first attempt is. I put it out there and although I am ashamed to call it anything, but what it is... A load of wasted paper. It still is a part of my art and it would be naive of me to claim it as anything else. I have created horrible paintings, but I don't merely toss them in the can to never be viewed again. I keep adding or rearranging until the composition forms something aesthetically pleasing.

So, if I don't believe in this work as a success I must push it in another successful direction. So, I will continue with writing my new novel and transform my first novel into a screen play. I will no longer refer to it as even a novel that's how much of an injustice it does to writers everywhere. My next one will blow it out of the water.

I feel better now declaring it a complete flop. Sometimes one has to step back and with an unblinking eye be able to call a work the truly complete flop that it is.

I have been reading a book called the First 5 Pages which has helped me to understand the craft of writing and appreciate it's nuances way more. Some say it takes the first hundred pages to get into a novel and discover a voice, but then one realizes those first one hundred pages are trash... Well, I believe that was my first novel. I think I wrote a incoherently, illogical, unthought out piece of two hundred and thirty-two pages of complete literary slop.

It has taken me a month and half to realize it, but I took a look at it and there are so many things wrong I do not think there is anything I could to right all the wrongs in it. I though of it as a film. I wrote it as if it were a film. I tried to categorize it as something that is not. I realize that, and now I must make it into what it is I originally thought it out to be.

For people that will buy the book all I can say is that it was and is a stepping stone of great things to come. Without the disgustingness of Picasso's Marauders I could not have had the confidence to keep exploring this new craft.

I guess, unlike my art, I have learned that writing can not be rushed. It is a slow and arduous task. Also, like art, I must do it for myself and not for the hopes of money (that I will keep for screen plays).

I have learned by the writer's craft that I do not want to be famous, or rich, or any of those things. Like my art, I want to be good... Great... Better than anybody else I know. That is not confused with wanting to be the best. As an artist I never wanted to be the best. I wanted to be better than anyone else I knew. It is the same with writing. Now that I understand what I want out of this I am going to slow down. Breathe. Pace myself... And, I am going to write the most damn awesome story I can. Not a movie. Not in a month. I am going to write MY NOVEL, in the TIME I want, AND HOW EVER LONG IT TAKES ME IS HOWEVER LONG IT TAKES ME.

My time is done and the the city is but a another memory...

2010-01-26T01:32:00.002-05:00

The City, or as I like to call it San Francisco (there is only one The City and that is NYC). Surprisingly, I liked it. A hell of alot more Asian than I anticipated, but I liked it. I spent most of my time in San Jose... Again, awesome.

I still can't get over the fact of how much I liked about San Francisco as the locals there despise the terms Frisco and San Fran.

Good art scene, descent people, good culture, and it didn't rub me the wrong way. Can't really find much at fault with it besides being expensive and occasionally falling into the ocean (earthquakes) wouldn't mind living there.

Back to reality though. I am now in ohio. Back to the grind. I think Cali cleaned out my lungs a bit. I feel fresher. My mind seems refreshed. I think I needed a good bit of culture shock and S.F. is exactly what I needed. Now it is time to battle Jet lag.

I will post the two pictures I took tomorrow. I am too tired tonight.

Off to San-Fran-Sisco

2010-01-22T15:13:00.002-05:00

Heading into the city today and spending the night. Going to take pictures and experience the west coast, or I guess a better way to put it is the west coast is going to experience me.
Should be an action packed day and a half. Should be interesting. Going to take a shower and eat a happy meal. Be back with analysis of the days to come when I get back on home soil. For now just checking in.
Productivity low, just gather experience for now. Sometimes you got to put goals aside and make room for a little bit of life experience...

Especially, when it includes checking out a live attending of Point Break as an interactive play. It's supposed to be one of the awesomest things ever and I expect no less.

San Francisco Avatar 3D

2010-01-20T22:33:00.004-05:00

Seen it... Awesome! Got to keep this short and sweet. Landed in Californ-I-A with no delay. Kinda rainy. No deep thoughts. Been here a total of 3 hours. Maybe I'll go to school at DeVry. Since it is across from the theater. Just kidding.
But really, Avatar was pretty cool. Kind of reminded me of a really cool video game. Wish I was ten feet tall and blue with some hot alien chick digging me.
No deep thoughts for now... I'm on vacation.

Another day, another San Fransisco

2010-01-20T00:05:00.003-05:00

In less than twenty four hours I will be out on the west coast, touching down in San Fransisco. I will be there and San Jose amongst other places seeing sights and enjoying being the social person that I can be at times. Haven't packed and don't really care. I had to play video games. Need it to say, that I have not been very productive this week. Don't really care. I knew there would be lapses going into this productivity thing.

I will just have to start a new when I get back. It has been an eventful week and will only get more so. My Uncle passed... Rest in Peace Uncle Joe "Sonny". I enjoyed playing penny anty when I was a youth at his house in Warren and swimming in the summer.

I also received a letter from Chatham County Corrections informing me that the young men that robbed me of my wallet and my Big Mac 9 months ago got out on early probation. I guess that is to be expected for 12 counts of armed robbery between them. I mean, they did only stick us up with a REPLICA AK-47. Plus, like the letter said, " It was just to crowded for the most dangerous of the pack. He didn't even get time served. It was just to crowded for him so they had to let him go... Awe... :(

On to good news. I am leaving Ohio today! Yes, Yes, and YES!

I do not know if there will be any daily blogging going on while I am out and about, but be fore warned... It could have some intoxicatingly interesting words. SO I apologize now in advance. SOORY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, AND.............................. SORRY.

Bye, gotta go pack, I guess.

3 New Year's goals done... 21 more to go.

2010-01-18T11:56:00.004-05:00

I have eliminated three of the twenty four goals off my list of 2010 goals.

1. Order more business cards- DONE

2. Resubmit Picasso's Marauders now available for purchase- DONE

3. Submit Screen play for professional critique- DONE

21 more goals to go. I think I got this. All I really need to do is knock out two a month. I am already ten chapters into my new novel. I aim to have it done by the end of February. That is my goal, not including revising. I think I can also knock out those children's books in one month, no problem. Maybe start those in March.

Two days and counting...

2010-01-18T10:23:00.002-05:00

I am ready to leave behind Ohio once again, this time to further venture onwards. The destination one day stay in San Fransisco and four days in San Jose. Many people have asked why I am going and I have no real reason. A good friend invited me to come out there for five days and I think that is reason enough. Luckily, I have just finished up the awards banquet for my students at Central Ohio Art Academy and will be able to go revive my creative juices with a little bit of beer hockey and sunshine hopefully.

Right now I am creatively frustrated though. Not in the sense that I cannot create, but the opposite. I want to create so much that there is simply not enough of me's to go around. There are about eight projects I want to be working on right, or rather eight projects I need to be working on right now. There are no deadlines, but I just really want toi have them started on.

I have begun writing the poetic children's novel yesterday. I tried to put it off as long as I could, but thought I needed a break from the new novel so I have begun writing it.

I think I need a a good break. This 12-16 hours of productivity a day is really quite draining. Who would of thought?

Kids art show....

2010-01-17T11:53:00.003-05:00

I have been pretty busy lately and will possibly begin work soon on writing a play for one of my students at the Central Ohio Art Academy. Not quite sure how to write plays, but I am definitely going to give it my best, which is usually enough.

Yesterday I judged the children's art show and it was my first time judging anything. Guess I am surprised that anybody actually takes my opinion for something of substance. Everyone got awards. Every piece got a ribbon. There were alot of first. not so many seconds. and not so many thirds... But it got me to thinking. I used to love getting trophies. So I am thinking of making trophies for myself when I reach certain goals. I think that would be really neat.

Anyway, without further ado, here are some pics of some of the work. I will have better pics in the days to come. Sorry if they are a bit out of focus. Especially, the giant Leopard out of metal and the huge magic mountain.

Braingasms of a literary sort...

2010-01-15T22:03:00.002-05:00

Ever since I opened up Pandora's Box on this whole writing adventure it is like my brain has been waiting for this. It almost seems like a natural revolution in my artistic career. Words have more and more entered my work. When I look back at my creative process it shouldn't have been a surprise that my work would eventually take me to the point I am at. I am not saying I am good at writing novels, but other forms I think I excel at.

I believe my poetry is something not to be underestimated. It could be my way of thinking or speech articulation, but there is something in the way write and express myself that happens not only to be unique, different, and creative, but also interesting to others. I enjoy writing, but if others did not find it equally as interesting or in some cases more so. Then I would not continue on exploring it as a means for income.

People say, "Oh, you should do it for your self. Art is something an artist creates out of unspeakable passion to express one's self. I say this is a load of pa-tuey!

I create art out of a necessity to get thoughts and ideas out of my head. Ideas and concepts of a visual nature constantly bombard my brain and without emptying the valves I'd become clogged and insane. I create not for me, but for others. I create not out of seeking approval, but out of the necessity to inform. I believe my greatest gift is to bring unimagined images into a concrete form and possibly enlightening discussions on aspect of society that would other wise take to serious of an overtone. Thus, causing people to avoid the subject matters altogether. If a subject can be brought into a humorous light people are much more willing to engage it. Or if it is shown in a different way that causes people to interpret it in another light then that is what I am aiming for.

That is my goal. That is why I create. If it has to be done in a painting then so be it. If it has to be done in a novel, so be it. Whether it is through poetry, plays, films, free-styling on a microphone, print making, mixed media, children's books, illustration, posts, flyers, where ever I need to go to get to the audience that I need to get to you better believe I am going to do it.

My goal isn't to be rich(though there are worst things in the world.), it isn't to be famous (there are enough of those people in the world...Ain't my style), it isn't to be the best artist in the world. My goal is to get people thinking, asking questions, laughing at themselves, or bettering themselves by helping others or even if it means just being a less materialistic-ego maniacal-consuming-thoughtless-reality tv watching-lazy-self absorb-uncultured-ignorant-over religious-bigoted-racist-homophobic-anti Semitic-all around dufus on humanity's already tarnished image. OH, and ENOUGH WITH THE CELEBRITY WORSHIP!

I think people love putting celebrities on pedestals that way when they fall from grace it makes the average Joe Shmoe feel so much better about their life as a failure by watching another's imperfections get blasted. It's an evil business watching others's lives crumble and getting a weird satisfaction out of it. It is the lowest form of entertainment in my mind, then again maybe I am just filled with too much empathy towards my fellow man.

31 and on the attack...

2010-01-14T11:37:00.003-05:00

I have started the ball rolling. I awoke today with a renewed sense of determination which I have a feeling I am going to have to do plenty of this year. I started early and knocked off some things on that pesky "To Do" list of 2010. I registered my screen play with the WGA (Writer's Guild of America, West), tried to pursue a copyright as well, but being that it is a government run sight I couldn't get past the new user login... Go figure, and they want to run health care?! Kind of scared about that, but that's a topic for another day. I also submitted my script to be formally critiqued and am now waiting on confirmation. Hopefully there will be no bumps along the road and it will come out pristine. If so, then I am on to getting an agent and am already in some correspondence with some interested parties.

Besides that, it is business as usual. Saturday I will be judging the children's art work at Central Ohio Art Academy and then Sunday I will be presenting awards and trophies at Eastern Palace to the winners. Although, they are all winners... All of them get awards, some are just bigger than others. I think I will post pieces up on here. I think I am going to post all of the art on my website in it's own section. Haven't decided yet.

Wednesday I am off to the sunny side of the west coast, San Fran to be specific. Then it's on to San Jose. This year is starting off with a bang to say the least. Things aren't really falling in place as I had planned, but then again I don't really have a place for them to fall into. So, all-in-all I would have to say that everything is going better than expected.

This productivity thing really kicks butt. I should have made this a goal so long ago. I think this is how successful people really do get successful. Focus, determination, motivation, and an unrelenting vision on what the outcome is to be with all steps leading to that finale.

No matter how small, or how large, the key is to just keep on moving forward. Even if you get set back, you got to just pick yourself up. Dust your self off, and be like, "Hot DANG! I'm gonna wup this life a new tail!"...

I'm not too sure what that means, but I'm pretty sure it means something. A little sadden that I have had to put my mandarin on a back burner, but I also have decided to in it's place write a one woman show for a student at the art school who just doesn't find her theatre class at school testing her true potential. The hardest part was figuring out the demographic... After all it has been awhile since I was a thirteen year old girl.

I have an idea for the play, a concept. The craziest part is I know the exact last line word for word and what the play will be about. Possibly even the title. Have to do some research on a play format, but it can't be that hard, right? If I can get it produced through her private school which, then we can get this thing into production. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to add play write to my list of accomplishments.

I will give you a hint as to what it is about. A girl who is dealing with self identity, dreams, success, failure, and the realistic coming to grips with her own self, but as a comedy. I don't want anything too serious. That is all funny stuff , right? Plus, there is going to be tons of interpretive dancing... Lol...

I will call this opus... "Be"

p.s. I am still writing my second novel, just in case you're wondering. It's coming along quite swimmingly. I am 5o pages into it and have managed to kill off two characters AND work in two original Blues songs. As sang by the fictional character Morris Redding, aka, Mr. Mo "Blues" Red. At first I was worried about telling anybody about this book idea then I realized if someone can write it faster than me and tell it in a better way, so be it. But I ain't scured (that's scared in dirty south dialect).

Stomach to brain... NO MORE COOKIES...

2010-01-13T17:00:00.003-05:00

Today for my birthday I decided to revert back to my childhood aspirations to see how many big ol' chocolate chip cookies I could eat and how many hours of video games I could play.

Well, I am glad to report that I now feel disgusting. My eyes heart in the back of my head and I have definite stomach pains. This did not help my productivity although I did manage during all that to pump out 2000 more words on my novel, but OH my belly.

I think I have cookieitis. I guess at 31, one becomes no longer immune to the sweet delicious pains of consuming way too much of a good thing. All I want to do is take a nap. I may have to cancel dinner plans as I do not want real food. My binge of cookie awesome has served me well in cancelling out my desire for real food. Although... Come to think of it, I could go for a Philly cheese steak from Mr.Hero. (it is by far the awesome Philly I have ever had)

That shall be my birthday wish... Please birthday gods deliver me an awesome Philly cheese steak with waffle fries and hot cheddar and all would be good on this most glutinous of days.

No deep thoughts, no profound statements about the world around me, as according to me. Just the dreams of a sweet, greasy, mushroom and pepper Philly cheese steak from Mr. Hero.

There is only one of the restaurant left in all of ohio. I think that is because it is good. Much like a Bizarro Demolition Man World "Anything deemed good, thus is illegal" So I think Ohio is trying to get rid of the only decent Philly stop in the state. Aaarrrrgh! I must get my steak before they get rid of the place.

Now I can think of nothing more than that stupid, grease stained bag of hot deliciousness.... Mmm... Deliciousness...

Got to go!

The Big Three...One...

2010-01-12T23:45:00.003-05:00

Fifteen minutes before another marker in my travels of wisdom. The 13th of january falls upon me again and much like last year I am still in Ohio, but much unlike last year things are on the change... Namely the winds of motivation, determination, and inspiration. All of these things are now intrinsically woven into my being... Whatever that means.

Okay, enough with all the outlandish talk, basically, i am on a creative Tour de force and I am not accepting anything less than absolute success. I have never tried this frame of thinking so I figure what the hell. Instead of aiming just to accomplish something. I am not only going to accomplish said goals, but make them a way that I may sustain a comfortable living.

After all that is my ultimate goal. No more crappy J.O.B.'s

Short and sweet that's how I'm going to keep it this year. With a side of productivity and a whole lotta butt kicking new exploits.

Blogger Block...

2010-01-12T01:04:00.002-05:00

Not much to say. To have something noteworthy and poignant everyday is harder a task than I thought. Then again I did write over 4000 words in my novel today. I think that is the equivalent of like ten or more pages.

I am falling behind on my 2010 goals even though they are a bit ambitious. I must not give up. I have to remind myself that a learned pattern of routine change will take some getting used to. So as long as I stay vigilant in my drive to strive for making myself into the person I want to become I must understand that there are proverbial bumps in the road.

Tomorrow I will attempt to try anew. I will not be discouraged because of the brief lapse in routine. I will get back on schedule and must focus on the positive. Productivity wise I am making extreme leaps forward in the writing of my novel. Also, I have my first novel done. I have restocked and redesigned my business card. I ordered a new atm/debt card. I have got all my banking in order. I have been exercising regularly. I have entered a few art competitions. Updated my website. And I have a copy of my poetry book that needs to be revised and put into a new form. All and all not bad for the first two weeks of the new year. Oh, and I have my screen play completely revised and ready to be sent off to the literary agency.

I may have fallen behind in some goals, but it is all about pace and I must remeber there are 365 days in this year and I have, but finished 11 of them...

With that I say good night and may all your endeavors be as productive and successful as mine are going to be.

The Blues to me...

2010-01-10T17:20:00.002-05:00

Ain't nothing I feel stronger than that sense of the Blues,

In my soul and out my pen,

On my paper and through my thoughts.

One in the same it ain't Hip Hop.

Though it used to be,

but now it's not.

Confused

and

so simple.

One time,

Two bits,

Three strikes.

One fight,

One life,

One way to go.

I never sang.

Never dance, but when I did...

When I would, I could, if the motion striked me right.

A happy, sappy, sort-a-blues-type-a-pick-a-low.

Not that ol' fashioned git' tar,

fashioned too small.

My type of music that makes me unsick,

with delicious licks,

and vicious words.

The truth comes out no bluer and truer than in the Blues them'self.

Fell back in to old routines...

2010-01-09T21:51:00.002-05:00

Well, today wasn't too productive. Taught art at Central Ohio Art Academy. That wore me out something righteous. I got 3 of those kids doing some highly conceptual experimental mixed media. They are definitely troopers. The level of work I expect from them is nothing short of spectacular and they are definitely succeeding beyond my expectations. It's like having 3 clones working on 3 intense projects simultaneously in an area maybe 20' x 20'.

My mind is on overload, all the while I can't help, but think about my novel that I am neglecting. It has only been a day, but I already feel my characters becoming upset with me at the fact they stay stuck on pause. Pretty soon they are going to start acting up and I will have a hard time wrangling them back in. Tomorrow I swear I will get back to them. I think they are mad at me. They haven't got to hear there daily dose of Mississippi Jones, Bob Dylan, and Mr. Woodie Gunthie. The soundtrack to my novel... If there is such a thing. It keeps me grounded.

Anyway, I'll be judging the children's art next week. Pretty excited, never got to judge a show before. Tons of great art. No idea who will be winning. Everything is so good.

Sorry I don't have nothing witty to say or sarcastic. I guess in the words of Ice Cube, " Today was a good day."

I will be back to my ol' cynical self tomorrow. Got to keep these daily's going you know? Part of that New Year's thing and all.

Straight edged and rough...

2010-01-08T22:45:00.002-05:00

I have had this inkling recently to cast my self preservation of technology to the side and say, " Hey damn it! I want to be old school and do things the way they used to be done. Nothing too crazy, just wanted to start using a straight razor to shave.

All I have heard from people ever since this epiphany is the equivilant of the mom from The Christmas Story, "Your going to poke your eye out". Except it is replaced with, "Your going to slit your throat." like for some reason all of a sudden I am going to lose my ability to grasp the concept of the razor. So I have been researching these razors and there are some pretty sweet ones out there. (The real reason I want one is because freaking Mach-a-millions cost so much for refills that a nice couple hundred dollar straight edge will earn it's money back in a year's time AND THEY LAST FOREVER.

Now, what I got instead was the equivilant of a highly economic one. NOTE: When choosing items such as food and instruments of death used to manicure one's face I tend to go with the pricier stuff, as cost is usually equated to quality 9 times out of 10. This razor I was using, although brand new was like shaving with a dull butter knife. It was more of a hassle than it was worth. I would have had better luck picking up a steak knife and hacking away. So I stopped.

Then I realized I had left my glorious Mach 18 in NYC a couple of weeks ago on a trip. Need it to say that it has been awhile since I shaved. I had NOTHING! And tomorrow I am to teach children art. I looked like I had mange.

Luckily, my mom was getting home when she said she had some razors. It was a close call... So I thought, until she preceded to pull out some kind of disposable plastic razor that were caked with rust and what appeared to be gummy bears. So there in lie my choses... A butter knife or a rusty shovel. I chose the rusty shovel.

Thank god I have the hands of an artist and could probably shave with a machete if I had to. It wasn't the closest shave. And it definitely wasn't the best shave, but I didn't cut myself, nor did I need a tetanus shot afterward. Although, at age 30, it was by far the worst shaving experience I have ever had.

Tomorrow I am going to pick up a mach 200 for emergencies like this just in case. And I think I am going to wait until I can afford to get the straight razor I want. I have now added another thing to which the cost equates the value... Here are my one's so far... Electronics, fruit, meat, paint, boots, and FACIAL RAZORS (whether they be straight edge or not).

I am sure there are other items, but this is all I have experienced for now and every once in awhile there is an exception to the rule which opnly makes the rule that much more true.

Here is a list of things that I never pay a high price... NEVER!(but are necessities, at least to me)

1. SUNGLASSES

2. bathing suits

3. pens

4. lighters

5. wife beaters (white or colored tank tops)

6. powerade/gatorade

7. water (only tap for me) unless in another country, but I never am.

8. t-shirts (a designer t-shirt is an oxymoron)

9. tennis shoes (except on rare occasion, Pumas are the only way to go)

10. a hat of any type be it winter or summer wear

Snow bad for artist, good for writer...

2010-01-07T22:02:00.002-05:00

I hate snow... Always have, always will. Although now I have a greater appreciation for it. Me being a poor mixed media artist I worked outside a great deal especially when using harsh chemicals, resins, or spray painting. All of which are my favorite past times. I was working in my garage/studio when I would do this. When it was hot out it was awesome, but when the frigid cold came a calling it became very frustrating. Me being the stubborn person that I am would just refuse to stop and up my doses of alcohol and layers of socks, pants, and hats until it was tolerable, but this still did not help when substance and materials needed to cure. Sometimes my work would have to simply stop due to mother nature.

Now, on the flip side I noticed when I was walking this morbidly obese brown lab (whom the owner is I will leave anonymous as to not shame there animal abuse and neglect.) One of my many good deeds that always goes punished. I have been writing my second novel as you should very well know, but probably don't because nobody reads these ridiculous ramblings.

The snow was coming down by the bucket fulls today and I was very grateful because I wanted nothing more to go back into my writing womb. The world in which my creativity flows because I have nothing else. In this little cubby hole of a room barricaded in with technology is where I write. Crap, it's probably where I spend 95 % of my day. If you saw where I lived you wouldn't blame me. Anyway, my point being, that unlike my art, writing seems to flourish in the most isolated of habitats. Unlike art, the less stimuli and interaction with the real world the more productive and inspired one becomes. One simply lives in the written world. It is easier to be sucked in and thus easier to create because there is rarely a transition from one reality to the other. The snow gives me an excuse not to go out, not to look for a job, not to do anything I don't want to do, or do anything I want to do. It is the perfect motivator. I now have a greater understanding why writers always prefer that stereotypical log cabin wintery ideal with music playing.

I prefer the lack of comfortability as well. Just give me the internet so I can get pandora. com radio, something to drink (preferably cranberry juice, Dr. Pepper, or Mountain Dew), a shag carpeted floor to sleep, a stopwatch, a bathroom where I can take a hot shower and I am good to go. Oh, and a xbox360 w/ John Madden football just in case I need to do something or than write.

Writing is something that is best done alone, without in stimuli, and no distraction. Also, it best to be void of all human contact with perhaps slight moments of brief interaction so one doesn't go completely into the 11th dimension. Not that I don't like people I just find a majority of them to be highly annoying. I'd much rather be a recluse and then go to a real city for a week or two and live it up and then go back to the desolate lands of nowhereville's Ohio. There I can always feel under appreciated and completely worthless which is exactly what I need to keep pushing me towards my creative apex... Wonder if that's a word... Pretty sure it is and pretty sure I used it in the right context.

So, to sum up the lesson for today... Being an artist in winter... SUCKS! Being a writer in winter... The COOLEST thing ever!

Oh, and on a side note... How come whenever AI have a job I never have any money and don't do anything fun, but when I don't have a job I get to go to fun places and do cool things. Makes me wonder why I ever get crappy jobs at all...

Oh, yeah! I enjoy being miserable? I guess. Sometimes I think I am struck with severe bouts of dementia (diarrhea of the mind and mouth), but aren't all artist at one time or another... At least the great ones are.

Not enough time in the day...

2010-01-06T22:19:00.002-05:00

No sir, no say.

No way, no how.

Not enough,

but at the same time it's too tough.

What to do and what not.

Want not and waste not,

it's what's taught.

Through hard times

our hard thoughts

teach worn souls.

The Blues bring sunshine

to my mind,

even in the darkest of times.

I guess, brings the brightest dawn.

Creative Dilemmas

2010-01-05T20:24:00.002-05:00

Well, the research for my new novel is coming right along... But there is a problem... I am developing a soundtrack of songs that I am listening to while I research. It is helping me to write the story in my head. Now here is the problem. I see the story in terms of a screen play, but it falls in a different order than the novel. It is all very confusing. Basically, I am seeing two different versions of the same story through two different views.

How does one incorporate music into a novel. I find it very important to grab the feel of the sounds I am listening to. They are almost as important to this story as the story itself. I hope my writing can do it justice because what I imagine is really, really good. I want to start writing like NOW! I don't have the patience for this research, but the more I do the better the story gets. Focus and patience.

I am so used to being able to pump art out quickly. I guess producing a novel in a month ain't necessarily at a snail's pace either. Guess, I'll be patient... I just better be finishing this thing up in march or I'm a be, not happy. Then I can get to work on making it into a screen play.

Always got to be having a deadline... Even if it is self imposed. It helps to feel the pressure of an expected due date.

Good Morning, Pataskala!

2010-01-05T09:49:00.002-05:00

New York, Los Angeles, and other major metropolis beware for you know not what manifests on the outer banks of civilization. Some creatives l;ay dormant, festering in little dessilate lands lost in the middle of nowhere.

I am not intimidated, nor afraid of the entities of big city life. Instead I find it to be very intriguing while they go about their daily hustles of work, networking, hip routines, and savvy ideals. I sit brewing. Ideas, concepts, my imagination my only escape. My hunger grows stronger. My thirst more unquenchable.

Little do people know that in the farmlands of Ohio in a house that looks more to the liking of a white trash, hill billy an artist/ writer inside plans massive undertakings of a creative nature. It is easy to stay motivated and creative when you are surrounded by input.

Out here I am in a creative vacuum. My only inspiration is lands and lands of nothingness. The only one's to appreciate my work are through means of internet connections. My friends remain entrenched in stimuli. West coast, east cost, major cities. They have it easy. The expectation and drive is higher. He I could just rot away and know one would be the wiser... But that is not my way. Here I grow. Perfecting my craft and honing my skill. When I spread my proverbial wings people will not know from where I came. There are very few if any artist that practice with such strict discipline as myself. Here I go unnoticed, unacknowledged, under appreciated. Basically, a nonexistent existence.

Of all the artist I know, I know none that have the ambition, diversity, and overall academic training that I have. Along with the time and situations that I have been blessed with. Others would look at my situation and feel pity and sorrow for me.

Yes, I sleep on a floor of shag carpet. Yes, I can feel the frigid cold winds blow through the wall of my room as a heater sits by head keeping me from catching pneumonia. Yes, my living situation is likened to that of someone living in a third world country. Yes, I cannot go anywhere I wish of my own free will and accord. As there is nowhere for me to go. I am in fact a prisoner my only escape is my creative and drive for success. I would have it no other way. This forced isolation allows me the freedom and option to do the only thing I can... Write, art, and figure everything out that I need to in order to be successful. Everyday I awake, is another day I am driven to succeed. Their is only one way out and that way is success. It is my only option, my only choice.

The struggle is in essence what I believe to be the one true measure of a man's worth. If one is not willing to sacrifice for their beliefs than how can it be said that they truly believe anything. With misery and failure also comes great triumph with success. One's self worth will be ten fold to that of whom everything is easy. Nothing is deserved or entitled.

What fills my heart, mind, and body with passion is that of the struggle. My need for success. To sit in the belly of failure is only to know too well the perils of idleness. Everyday I am bombarded with ideas, goals, ways to succeed. I explore all that I can even though it appears to fall on deaf ears. My inspiration comes from this frustration. The more people ignore me, the more visually assertive my paintings become. The more dynamic my writing turns. With each sign of failed success my ambition only grows greater, my confidence only stronger. This is the way I work. Compliments only allow for complacency and pig headedness. I do not care who likes what. What fuels my fire are the non believers. The negative minds. These are who I aim to disprove.

So for those that say I am no writer, watch me as I produce another novel... And another... And another...

This may be the reason why I have lost interest in art for now. No one has told me I can't do anything. All I ever received were compliments (financial compliments are much better received by the way). My compliment bank is full. Compliments are for conceded people with low self esteem. Neither of which I am. I don't need compliments. I know I am good. I am a professional and professionals are good at what they do... That is why they are professionals, hence the word.

When a mechanic fixes your car, you don't say, "Boy, your really good." You expect them to be good. That is their profession. They are doing their job. So, when I create a painting I don't look to hear the same. Just pay me as it is my profession. That is all I ask. That is the greatest compliment of all. Nothing else matters. If I want to hear how talented I am I'll just ask my mom.

Jesus Research...

2010-01-05T00:50:00.002-05:00

Currently I have begun researching Jesus in a non religious way. I have found some pretty interesting books which do not throw in too much christian propaganda. Not to be blasphemous, but I am honestly looking for sort of a timeline that just tells a non bias biography of his life. This has been pretty hard. Although now I have found some pretty good references.

Sorry there is no sarcasm or clever wit in this article as I am in my serious research mode. I have also written the intro to my upcoming novel. I am quite proud and once I get all my research compiled and an outline of this novel together I will be ready to pump out another creative literature work. This one is going to be a bit different. More literary. Hopefully, better as I hope to progress in skill level with each novel.

I will be attempting a new voice and format of writing in this novel inspired by Mark Twain. I am going to write in my own voice. Write how I want and say nay to all those who have written before me. I will be creative with my style and try and capture a bit of my visual technique into literary form. Hope it works. I think this one will have a more polished and clean aesthetic.

Short and sweet... That's how this is going to end. Off to play a game of Madden. I got my 12 hours of productivity in. Even with the internet down for a couple of hours... So take that stupid internet.

Concoctions of a creative mind... A dissertation laziness, dreams, and John Madden Football.

2010-01-04T12:19:00.003-05:00

I wonder sometimes how other people's brain work. Their thought processes. Are they always thinking, wondering, imagining irrelevant ideas, and trying to form concepts on how to make one's self more intelligible?

I think just asking myself that , do others do the same. The more I learn about people the less I believe so. Most people don't think for thinkings sake. I'm no philosopher, but I just don't understand how people can be so mindless. Not to say they are stupid, but just that they think about a great deal of things that are completely and utterly stupid.

For instance, reality shows perplex me. Not in a way like most. I don't feel propelled to watch them, even as some would describe as a guilty pleasure. I simply just don't understand. Watching other peoples lives seems to be the biggest waist of time in all of existant time and space. Why? I have heard peoples explanations as to why it is entertaining and I guess that part of my brain does not exist. Whenever I hear someone say how they just can't get enough of a reality show I immediately think less of them. I cannot help it. Just the way it is.

Television is just that to me. Not to say there weren't shows that I liked. They always seemed to have an intricately interesting story line that somehow created sparks in my imagination or inspired me. Reality TV does not do that for me. Instead, the opposite happens. It's like it expands a void of nothingness and non creativity. In actuality, I would say that over the last couple years I have been turned of to television completely. The last show I watched with any conviction was the Sopranos. That was it...

Since eliminating television from my routine over these last 3 0r 4 years I have found an abundant amount of creativity and time to do everything I want. When people say they do not have time to exercise I believe that to be a farse. I do not know a single person I have ever met that does not have time to watch 30 minutes of television a day.

People have just grown accustom to not doing what isn't entertaining or instantly beneficial. Patience, determination, and a willingness to sacrifice is what I believe is going to be my keys to success. I understand that without great sacrifice one cannot truly gain great success.

I also believe that it takes time, work, focus, struggle, and more work. Then when all that is said and done, still, there needs to be more work done. One can never stop, if ambition and success is what one truly has a goal. Now, if it's a dream... Good luck with that. Dreams are ridiculous notions that lazy people believe in because they do not want to put in the leg work to achieve them.

A Goal is a concrete objective that is a dream taken from the abstract, sculpted, manipulated, and formed into a reality. Through planning, work, determination, and a will that doesn't accept limitations is how goals are achieved.

I never had a dream. Both figuratively speaking and as a concept. When I sleep I have horrible nightmares or realistic situations (which are about the closest thing to a dream I get). As a child I never dreamed of being anything. I never wanted to be an astronaut, or a dinosaur. The most absurd thing I dreamed about being was the color purple. Which I guess as far as dreams ago that is what they should be. An outlandish attempt at taking something completely abstract in form and wishing it to be a reality. Your reality.

My goal as a child was to be an artist. There were steps I had to take. I did those and with determination, hard work, focus, and ignoring other people's limitations placed on me. I would like to think I have achieved that goal. I am an artist.

I went to art school. I have had art shows. I teach children art. So, in all aspects of my goal... I am an artist. Now, being a successful artist is a whole other issue. That was to be my goal, but like life, goals can change. I am now on the cusp of a whole new set of goals. 23 of them to be exact. Will I succeed? I think so... No, I know so. With focus, determination, work, work, and more work there will be no other option, but to succeed.

I write things such as these not for people, not for me, not for anybody. I write things articles such as these to take words, ideas, concepts, and dreams out of the abstract and give them a concreteness. Once out of my head they become a reality. A tangible substance that I can look over, revise, edit. They become real. If others find comfort in seeing someone going through similar thoughts good. If not, that is even better.

I finally now realize why people watch TV. It numbs the mind... People don't like to think all the time... I do... That is what is different! Eureka! Zombifying the mind leaves one in a catatonic state where the pain of the world has a buffer zone. I enjoy to be emursed in the conflict humanity. I enjoy to test the limits of what I can imagine and create. I like to create concrete objects that verge on the edge of reality. I like to picture the unimaginable and then develop a set of plans as to how and create what cannot be created. Solving solutions to which there is no problem. Asking questions that have already been answered.

Maybe I have turned into an intellectual, although I find it highly unlikely because I still laugh at the most juvenile of humor and I really enjoy playing Madden football.

So, take this little rant as you may. It wasn't written for any particular reason, or person... Just figuring things out in my head and they seem to figure themselves out better written onto a screen for me to look at when the time is right.

Seven Hours of Productivity

2010-01-02T21:21:00.002-05:00

Early morning cold.

Wind blows through my bedroom walls.

A heater not hot enough,

on a floor not soft enough.

Two pillows,

one comforter,

and a crook in my neck.

Arrested limitations as I wait in hesitation.

Sleepy eyed leg exercises meditating to the sound of ferocious beasts.

No begging.

No pleading.

A slow breath and a deep relief.

One hour of productivity.

Only six more to go.

This isn't my goal, but it is my aim.

Tomorrow it's twelve.

Maybe the next is sixteen.

Who needs sleep?

I'll do that when I stop to breathe...

Research, Write, Read, and Don't get discouraged...

2010-01-02T21:00:00.002-05:00

I keep picking up more and more writing references in order to help me better understand what it is to be a writer. I am beginning to think this is a mistake. The more and more I research and read, the less and less I confidant I grow towards my writing. I may have to quit learning in order to become more educated if that makes any sense at all.

When I wanted to become an artist I didn't start out as a child studying books on how to draw. I simply drew. It wasn't until I honed my untaught skill that I truly needed guidance. The only problem with this thinking is that I knew I had a natural talent as an artist. Nobody has ever had to tell me I was good at art. I knew it. There is no set standard or rules to abide by when creating art. Unlike literature. There are rules of sentence structure, and other things that I don't even know about. I am beginning to think maybe I should just ignore these rules until I develop my voice as a writer. Once I feel comfortable with what I write then I will explore all that is improper with my work. Right now, I think it is more important for me just to write. That is my belief. I am already becoming discouraged with every article I read about writing. Where as before I was a writer it was actually fun to write.

So, forget the rules. I am just going to write... If people have a problem with it then they can edit my work for me. If not, well then just shut up... How about dem apples?

2010: The year of Determination & Success

2010-01-01T13:13:00.002-05:00

The first entry of a new year... I have rebooted my motivation, determination, and strategies for success. I am going to create a creative blitzkrieg of product. Saturate the market with my creatively enlightened excrement. I will invade all avenues of of possibilities in hopes that one will work.

I am a naturally ambitious and determined person, but because of a horrible, horrible year last year I thought I had lost the war. My war waged against my own downfalls and lack of success. The negativity of the world had almost collapsed my inner being of determination. Yet, now I have regained my spirit.

I like the under dog mentality. It drives me more when I am told what I cannot do, cannot achieve, or that I should just try something else. I almost started listening to those people ( not really), but I like them to think that.

No idea is to ambitious. No goal is unachievable. This is my belief. I have given up on my dreams. I have no dreams. Dreams are things that are a figment of the imagination. The subconscious. I am more interested in reality. Goals. A path in which I can carve out for myself in order to achieve the success, ideas, concepts, and goals that I want. Not necessarily what I deserve, but what I will take.

In this world things aren't deserved, or given. There is no right to a sense of entitlement. At least not for me or anyone else I know. Materials, dreams, goals, everything must be earned. No excuses, no blame, no limitations. One must put all notions of these concepts out of the mind. There is only YOU. What YOU do. How hard YOU work. How motivated YOU are. How determined YOU are. With this frame of mind there is only one person that can stop YOU from accomplishing everything YOU want... And that is YOU.

With that being said, I am going to get everything I aim for on that list of mine. All 23 goals that I have, I will reach. Along the way I am sure there will be the people that think I am foolish and idiotic. That my goals are too over the top, but to this I do not respond. Let people think what they want. That is what people do. I however will push ever onward and in one year's time will have transformed my self into something astonishing. That is what I believe. That is what I will do. With my back against the wall the outlook seems dim, but I do my best work under pressure. Always have. This is the hardest test I have ever given myself, but I think I am up for the task.

I will transform myself from the inside out. While others make goals and resolutions of a superficial nature... Lose weight, get out of debt, exercise more... Blah, blah, blah... I am going to transform my entire being into an anomaly of creative enlightenment by working harder, producing more, sleeping less, pushing my mind, body, and soul through determined focus and discipline. This is my goal. This is my resolution.

This is my Tipping Point. After years of study and concepts I believe after reading Maxwell Gladwell's ,Outliers, that everything has aligned. It is time to take advantage of my full potential

push it to it's boundaries. Test both the right and the left side of the brain. The analytical and the creative. Through this I will be able to accomplish more than ever before I believe.

This is a test, an experiment. I want to see what type of person I will become with such outlandish determination and goals setting. I have never tried anything that I have not believed within my realm of completion. Although this is by far the most ambitious mission I have ever tried I believe I got it all under control.

If I can just keep at it with a constant pace and not fall behind for the first three months. Then I believe it will all become routine. Anything that is made a daily routine for 90 days becomes a set pattern of behavior at least for me. It breaks the mold of something and becomes a part of one's daily life. It doesn't have to be scheduled because it is just routine. Like sleeping, eating, and breathing. It will be necessary for my survival. And honestly, I believe for my survival as a successful person I believe this plan is mandatory. It is more than a lofty set of goals that seem NEAT to try out, but instead I believe are vital to my core as an artist, writer, and human being in order to achieve the enlightenment I wish to seek.

Well... That was a mouthful. I am done for now...

-Urban Monk over and out.

2010: A Daily Routine of Success

2009-12-31T20:41:00.002-05:00

In order to achieve 12-16 hours worth of productivity this does not mean I must be working a job for all of those hours, but it does mean I have to be contributing to the actualization of what is on my goals list in order to be productive. This will call for a strict regiment of discipline, focus, and excellent time management.

In a perfect world I will set out to start my day at 6 am and hopefully go to sleep at 10 pm which would give me 8 hours to sleep and 2 extra hours of my time to be unproductive.

Included in my 12-16 hours of productivity daily include anything that involves my time achieving goals. So, if reading classical literature helps me produce better novels then that is seen as productive use of my time. Travelling to and from work would also be included in my time. Any and all research time counts as well. Basically, anything that wastes my time by not furthering my goals or making money is unacceptable and deemed unproductive.

I have just bought a stopwatch which will remain on my person's at all time. My goal will be to be productive a minimum of 12 hours. If I should fall behind that. I will require myself to make it up another day. Or perhaps I will keep a weekly time sheet and any hours over 12 I will consider rollover time to cover under achieving days. Or days I go on vacation. One can never tell what the upcoming year will provide in my randomness of life events. Prepare for the unpreparable. That's my philosophy.

Here are some things that I will have to do daily.

- Exercise (yoga, lifting weights, or cardio)

- one 30 minute Mandarin Lesson Daily

- Daily Blog entry.

- Some sort of writing (research, poetry, illustrations, or reading)

These are the four essential things that I MUST do everyday... No If's, and's, or but's.

2010: New Year's Eve Final List

2009-12-31T20:14:00.004-05:00

This is the final list of goals I will hopefully achieve in the upcoming year. I plan on spending 12-16 hours a day being productive, 7 days a week ( with maybe a few lapses a month, but not too many). If I achieve this goal I should have no problem fulfilling all my goals. Thus, thrusting me into the realm of success. If by the end of 2010 I am not as successful as I wish then I will have no other option, but to give up, throw in the towel, and get on welfare. I do not see this happening as I am not one for charity.

So, without further delay here is my list of impossible possibilities.

- Get Driver's License

- Get a job

- Study my Mandarin Lessons everyday

- Exercise Daily

- Update Blog Daily

- Be productive 12-16 hours a day, 7 days a week.

- Get Passport

- Take World Exploring Seminar.

- Register UMC Studios as an LLC

- Have an art show in Chicago

- Have an art show in New York

X- Get more business cards

- Create "The 3 Goldie locks" series sculptures... ( top secret)

- Write and illustrate The Fortune Cookie Diaries

- Illustrate & Publish Where's My Sock

- Write Children's Novel The Never Ending Escalator Adventure

- Revise and Publish 3rd Shift Epiphanies: Chronicles of a Gas Attendant

X- Submit screen play to literary agency

X- Revise and publish second edition of Picasso's Marauders

- Write Top Secret Novel Trilogy (or at least the first installment)

- Write and illustrate Silverstein-esque large book of poetry for children

- Illustrate Mr. Morton's children's book Tommy the Toon from Brigadoon

- African mask back tattoo

- LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, either buy a ticket to begin my world tour or plan on moving to NYC

This is all I wish to accomplish this year. If I achieve these goals I will be overwhelmed with joy and happiness. May nothing detour me from these goals. May my mind fill with discipline and my body rise with energy.

I declare this my year. The Year of Determination... The Year of Success. The Year which any and all is possible. No more dreams and wishes. Only reality and aggressive pursuit of what I can righteously achieve.